Crying Blood
by Your-hollywood-tragedyx3
Summary: /I'll be your voice of reason, promise to keep believing./ Shelby had promised herself to stay unattached from her daughter, and everyone else in the world, until one event shatters everything and she's forced to tear down her walls.
1. Part I

**Author's Note: **I have no idea _where_ this story is going, let alone how long it will be. It's just something that's been plaguing me for awhile now-that I knew if I didn't write soon, would drive me insane.

**Warnings: **Language, explicit sexual content, mentions of rape, and possible substance abuse.

**Spoilers: **Takes place after 'theatrically.'

Chapter One.

Rachel Barry was never one for parties, but after the day she'd had, she needed to do something, something to keep her from sinking into a even deeper despair then she was already in. She needed to quell her burning thoughts and as she downed drink after drink, noting that after the third-the disgusting, burning taste seemed to dissipate into that of satisfaction, she was no longer feeling despair. She was feeling rather light, as if she were in a bubble and everything around her was suddenly funny.

Her teammates were scattered around Mike's house somewhere, all off to do their own thing and she was left alone, as it always was, as it should be. She glances into her red, plastic cup and sighs when she realizes there is only a bit left. Tipping it back, she finishes it off, slamming it down onto the counter and sauntering off towards the stairs. She should really lie down, because suddenly the world is spinning and she cannot walk in a straight line, let alone up the stairs without having to grip the railing, but somehow-somehow she finds her way into a bedroom and throws herself onto the empty bed, grateful for the darkness that engulfs her.

She kicks off her heels, courtesy of Kurt, who had pleaded to take her shopping earlier that day, and lets her head drop onto a pillow. Now that she is no longer pounding drink after drink, her senses clear, only a little bit and she finds the thoughts she'd tried so desperately to push away, fight their way back into her brain again.

_She didn't want me_. _It was all wrong, everything was so wrong._

Rachel frowns at the thought and she feels tears clouding her vision as she wills herself not to cry, not to break down again. She honestly didn't understand it. Her mother, _Shelby,_ didn't want her. She'd spent the time tracking Rachel down, playing with her emotions and getting her _fucking_ hopes up, only to change her mind again and shoot her down.

_Screw it,_ Rachel thinks bitterly. _Screw her. If she doesn't want me, then why try and chase it? Why try chasing her?_ A sharp intake of breath pulls her out of her head as she looks up, finding someone standing at the edge of the bed. She assumes it's one of the glee members, checking to make sure the room's empty so they can screw whoever's willing, but when she realizes that person is alone and breathing rather heavily, her opinion changes.

"Someone's in here." She finds herself saying, well, slurring rather, and she slowly pushes herself into a seated position-long enough to find the person at the edge of the bed making their way towards her. Making the realization she should probably leave, she makes a move to get up, her foot getting tangled in with the bed sheets as she falls forward, into the arms of the unknown person. As she moves to get up, away from him, she winces. His grip on her arms is hard and heavy and aching and she feels her eyes burning with tears again. "I'm fi-fine, can you let go now please?" She murmurs, wriggling around in an attempt to escape his painful grasp. His hold tightens and she finds herself thrown back against the bed as he climbs on top of her. He doesn't speak, and as she moves to scream, a hand covers her mouth, the other fumbling with shirt-ripping the blouse so that the buttons have flown off. He removes the hand that is on her mouth, only to be replaced by rough, disgusting, slobbery kisses. She sucks in a sharp breath, eyes wide with fear as her stomach tingles. The hand that had been previously on her shirt, slides down to her skirt, pushing it up and pulling her underwear down. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying desperately to get away from him as she feels him shift his body over top of her own. The tears fall as muffled, yet desperate pleas escape her. They last only a moment before she stiffens completely, her body going limp, her jaw going slack, and her eyes so wide she's sure they're going to pop out of their sockets. Pain erupts from core, radiating through her entire body until he's up and gone from the room.

She lays there, her body still in shock as her mind tries to process what had just happened. She feels her stomach twist and jolt and she abruptly throws herself to the side of the bed, vomiting onto the floor. When she's sure her stomach is empty, she pulls her body up and off the bed, fixing her skirt with one hand while she holds her shirt closed with the other. When she's sure she is as covered as she can get, she picks up her heels, sliding them back on her feet with whatever energy she can muster. Her legs shake as she stands up, testing her weight a moment before she opens the door, back to the raging party that has continued to go on downstairs. She scoffs in disbelief, amazed at how everyone can just keep on going as if what had just happened to her, didn't matter. But then she thinks, rationally, that there's a slim chance any of them had any clue as to what had happened only a few moments ago. She sniffles, wiping at her eyes before she heads towards the front door, not uttering a word to a single person before she flings herself onto the street.

In all honesty, Rachel thinks, Shelby Corcoran is the _last_ person she wants to see at that moment in time, but she's still her mother, regardless, and that's exactly what Rachel needs right now. A mother. That, and it doesn't help the fact her fathers are on a business trip in Hawaii for two weeks, leaving her alone.

As she glances back at the house behind her, she breathes a sigh of relief. Shelby only lived a few blocks down the street, she'd noticed this because as she headed to Mike's party with Mercedes and Kurt, Rachel had noticed Shelby's range rover sitting in the driveway of a house a few blocks back.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel nods to herself.

_Okay,_ she thinks silently. _I just need to get to Shelby's, once I'm there-everything will be okay. Surely she cannot turn me away after…what happened_.

Her stomach turns again and Rachel has to pause a moment once she gets to the end of the street, to vomit again. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she groans miserably, cursing herself for not bringing her cell phone.

The walk is long and tedious, at least it is in Rachel's mind, but she slowly finds herself making her way to Shelby's doorstep, pounding desperately against the paint-covered door until it opens, and she's standing there wide eyed, mouth open in shock.

"Rachel?" She asks. No reply. Rachel, exhausted and a sobbing mess, finds herself falling in a heap into Shelby's arms. Shelby sucks in a sharp breath, unsure of what had just gone on, hell, what _was_ going on, but drags her daughter into the living room none-the-less. It's two am, and Rachel wouldn't just show up like this unless it was important, would she?

As Shelby sits Rachel on the couch, placing a blanket over the shaking girl, she heads into the kitchen to make tea and draw up every possibility as to why her daughter was on her couch, sobbing wildly. As the pot goes off, Shelby pours the tea into two mugs, taking one into the young girl on her couch, and keeping one for herself as she takes a spot beside Rachel, who has substantially calmed down. She wasn't sobbing anymore, but she was still crying-an occasional whimper falling from her lips. Shelby couldn't help but feel something tugging at her heart. Was it worry?

No, she thought to herself. It couldn't be worry. Not for a girl, a daughter she didn't know.

"Rachel," She finds herself asking-a small hand resting on the younger girl's covered forearm. "Rachel, what's going on?"

Rachel shakes her head, curling her body into Shelby's as she begins sobbing again, loud, disgusting sobs that are causing her breathing to become uneven. Shelby runs a hand through Rachel's hair, both shocked and slightly terrified at what was going on with her daughter. She winces slightly, wondering if it still might've been from their conversation earlier.

When Rachel calms down again, the words fall out in between gasps of air-and Shelby's almost unsure of what she had said until Rachel pulls back the blanket, revealing a mess of tattered, ripping clothing, smeared makeup, and messy hair and Shelby finds herself piecing it together until her own eyes are clouding with tears and she's staring at her daughter in disbelief.

….

This can't be happening, she muses as she turns on her blinker to shift lanes. Rachel is sitting in the passenger's seat, silent, with her arms across her chest. Shelby takes a moment to glance over at her, and she feels her eyes fill back up with tears. She may not _know_ Rachel, but she's still her daughter, and she'll be damned if she let some bastard get away with doing what he had done. She turns the car off once they've pulled into a space in the hospital parking garage, and she waits a moment before resting a hand on Rachel's shoulder. Rachel jolts out of her thoughts as she glances over at Shelby, blinking a few times before she realizes where she was. She pops open the door, slowly sliding out of the seat until her feet have touched solid ground. She winces at the sharp pain that shoots through her body.

Shelby walks around the side of the car, taking her jacket off and sliding it over Rachel's shoulders before she kisses the top of her head lightly, surprising even herself. Rachel is still silent, and Shelby can't help but wonder where her father's are, why she didn't go to them.

She's about to ask until a nurse walks up to them, asking what they needed. This time, it's Shelby who is being pulled out of her thoughts, completely unaware they'd even entered the hospital. The words fall from her lips as she clutches Rachel's hand, voice shaky.

"My…" She pauses, sucking in a breath. "My daughter was raped."

The last word is so soft that she's not even sure if the nurse heard it at first, but when she feels Rachel slowly being pulled away from her, she knows that she has. As Shelby finds her way to the waiting room, she can feel her cold-hearted defense falling. She collapses into a chair, face in hands as she runs through the events of the past few hours and as it hits her, _really_ hits her, she finds herself sobbing-not caring who sees her, because her daughter was just tormented in one of the worst ways possible and she wasn't there to help her.

_She wasn't there to help her._

The words run through her head, a mantra on repeat, and she sobs harder.

Her daughter was raped, and she wasn't there to help her.


	2. Part II

**Author's Note:** I cannot express the gratitude I feel right now from everyone's reviews. I was slightly antsy about putting this up, because I wasn't entirely sure how people would react. But overall, the response has been good. I hope this chapter does justice. Also, I would've had this posted last night like I planned, but my laptop shut down spontaneously when I was in the middle of writing the chapter out, therefore-I lost everything when I restarted it this morning and had to rewrite the entire thing. Needless to say, I was pissed. I am aware that during a rape exam, parents are allowed present in the room-but in order for the chapter to work, I wanted to bring Shelby in later on, during the questioning process instead.

_**CyberCat08-**_The only reason I decided to write something like this is because, while Glee is realistic(and a television show, therefore-not much can be put onto television) I wanted there to be a message that this sort of thing, rape, incest, molestation, whatever the case may be, can happen to anyone. Even someone as dramatic and insane as Rachel. Regardless, I do appreciate your review and I'm glad you're sticking around to read the next chapter. I sincerely hope you stay with this story, because I'd love to hear more input from you. As to the out of character reference, she was made that way for a reason. When someone goes through a traumatic experience(in her case, rape) they tend to act differently then how they would. Which, I'm sure you're aware of, either way, just because Rachel doesn't 'swear' on television, doesn't mean she can't here. After all, this is fan fiction, right? :D

_**Rosaliethebeautyqueen-**_Glad to know you're enjoying this so much! The next chapter should be posted well, actually, when you read this-then you'll know. Haha.

_**MarlisaKristine-**_I too, wish that they had explored more into the Shelby/Rachel dynamic. I for one, felt very cheated. Why bring someone as incredible as Idina Menzel on and then give her one of the shittiest storylines possible? It's the most idiotic thing I think, that Glee did in my opinion. In fact, almost all of the back nine was disappointing for me.

_**Gigi18-**_Well, you already know my opinion on the Rachel/Shelby storyline. Hah. But thank you anyway for your review(as I'm sure I already said in one of the countless messages I've sent you.) Hey, did you ever get that paper done? ;)

….

The hospital is bustling with noise. A car accident on the highway involving two Honda's and a truck had several people piling in as doctor's worked to repair the damages, but Shelby Corcoran wasn't focused on that. No, she was busy pacing the waiting room floor while she impatiently waited for news on her daughter. The nurse hadn't been out of the room in an hour, and she could only assume that her daughter was busy answering the questions of the two policemen who came in only a few short moments ago. A small, defeated sigh left her lips as she wiped the smeared makeup from under her eyes, hands shaking as she pulled out her phone. This was probably, the most unorthodox thing she could be doing right now, calling William Shuster at near two in the morning, but he _did_ say to call if she ever wanted to talk, and boy did she want to talk.

As she dialed the number and pressed the phone to her ear, she found herself falling back into the chair, listening as it rang once, twice, three times, before a groggy 'hello,' came through on the other end.

"Will? It's Shelby. Can you meet me at Lima General hospital? I think I could use that talk right about now."

….

In all honesty, Shelby wasn't sure _why_ she called William Shuster-no, she's lying. She _did_ know why, but that didn't make it any easier once he showed up, ten minutes later. She found herself looking at him for a split second before adverting her attention to the dirty tiles of the hospital floor, wondering if she should really be telling her daughter's _teacher_ about what had happened. She knew Rachel would indivertibly be pissed at her, and most likely(seeing as stubborn and hard headed as she was) wouldn't want to speak to her again, but Shelby couldn't help it. Her head was ringing, her hands were shaking, hot tears were pouring down her cheeks and she felt an unfamiliar aching in her chest that was scaring the shit out of her and before she could even stop to think about any of the consequences or repercussions, she founds the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"Rachel was attacked."

His mouth drops, his eyes go wide, and for a moment, Shelby thinks he might've stopped breathing and is possibly at risk for a coronary. _Well_, she thinks, _if he does have a coronary, at least we're in a hospital._

He blinks a few times, and she bites down on her lip, trying to calm herself down because she's Shelby _fucking _Corcoran, and she'll be damned if she lets him see her likes this any longer. She sniffles, once, twice, three times before she finally forces herself to look back up at him.

He sets a hand on her shoulder and guides her to the chair, making sure she's completely seated before he takes the vacant spot beside her. "Where?" He asks. She swallows hard, she never bothered to ask Rachel where it happened, she was too busy trying to find her car keys so she could get her daughter to the hospital, but with the way she'd been dressed, she'd like to assume a party. Instead of throwing out her assumption, she merely shrugs, clearing her throat as he fires another question at her.

"How long have you been sitting out here?"

She glances at the clock on the wall to the right of her and chokes out a small, 'two hours.' Before she can really process what he's doing, he's up and out of his chair and storming towards the receptionist. From where Shelby's sitting, it's as if he's shouting at the woman to let her see Rachel, but she cannot be entirely sure-her ears are still ringing and her heart is still pounding rapidly, but she can't help but smile lightly at the fact that he's actually making an effort.

When he comes back, defeated, he runs a hand over his face and throws a quick apology her way. Shelby nods and on instinct, grabs his hand and pulls him down in the chair beside her again. She shifts her body so that she is now facing him, and drops her face onto his shoulder, murmuring a soft, 'thank you.'

She tenses immediately when he kisses her hair, but lets out a breath when she realizes it was nothing more than a simple gesture. Lifting her head up to look at him, she smiles lightly and laces her fingers with his, which he doesn't protest too, and drops her head back on his shoulder, closing her eyes. She inhales his scent, and slowly finds herself falling asleep, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the time will go faster that way.

….

The hours seem to drag and blur together as she sits on the hospital bed in a makeshift gown that's itchy and uncomfortable and makes her feel no better than when she had her skirt and ripped blouse on. The doctors are firing question after question at her, and she answers the best she can, but her head is swimming and her stomach is turning and she just wants to crawl in her bed and sleep. She wishes her fathers were here, and that her mother was in the room with her, but at the same time-she's glad she isn't. She doesn't think she could deal with seeing the look of disappointment on Shelby's face. The exam is just as uncomfortable as the makeshift gown she's wearing, and she has to fight not to kick the doctor in the face as she examines her.

Rachel finds herself blinking rapidly in an effort to press back tears, but she can't help but let one slide down her cheek as she doctor collects her clothes and throws them into a plastic bag labeled, 'evidence.' She cringes lightly when she sees that word, knowing that with evidence comes a court date, and with a court date comes a trial, and with a trial comes the truth. The truth she doesn't want to face but has too.

The overall process is long and tedious and to be honest, Rachel isn't quite sure if she has the effort or energy to deal with it. A part of her doesn't want too, but another part is telling her she _needs_ to. As the doctor finishes up the exam, Rachel continues to glance at the ceiling. It's white, with specks with brown spots on it from rust. She can hear the doctors speaking in hushed voices, but she doesn't quite know what they're saying, nor does she care too. She feels as if this is all one big, out of body experience, and she's hoping that it'll stay this way until she's at home. She doesn't want to be able to feel the brute impact of it all, not yet anyway. She doesn't want to think about him, imagining his body pressed against hers in a way that makes her shudder. She just wants to go home and put this behind her.

But as soon as she think she's done, as soon as the doctor's are packing everything up and stashing it away, two policemen enter. Rachel feels as if her blood has just gone cold, and she swallows hard, pulling her body into a seated position as the two officers enter the room. The doctors have long since disappeared, and one of the policemen is asking if she wants her mother in the room with her. Rachel absentmindedly nods her head, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. She doesn't want to answer the man's questions, she doesn't want him to see her like this-dirty, disgusting, worn out, _sober_.

It takes a few moments, but her mother finally enters the room and Rachel isn't quite sure if its relief that floods her, or worry. She can tell, by the way her mother's face is flushed and her eyes are blood shot that she's been crying and a pang of guilt hits her hard, right in the stomach and she finds herself stumbling to a trashcan to empty her stomach. Her mother is at her side though, her hands holding back her hair as one of the police officer's excuses himself and the other hands her a glass of water and a paper towel. It takes her a bit to compose herself again, but as she does, she notices her mother gripping her hand. She glances down at it, then up at her as the faintest of smile's ghosts across her mother's face.

Rachel sucks in a sharp breath, takes her seat again and answers the questions the officers have because she knows that the sooner she does, the sooner it's over and she can go home-something she's desperately wanted from the moment she got here.

….

Her throat is sticky and burning and her legs are shaking slightly as she walks out into the waiting room again. The noise has died down substantially and Shelby grips tightly onto Rachel's arm, not wanting to let her out of her sight for one moment-afraid of what could happen if she does. She's not quite sure when this maternal feeling had washed over her, but it has, and therefore-scares her senseless. But the focus isn't on her now, it's on Rachel.

Shelby notices Will is still seated in the chair when they step back out into the brightly lit waiting room, and she smiles slightly. He jumps up almost immediately when he sees her and rushes towards them, noticing how worn out Rachel looks. He frowns, resting a hand on her shoulder only to drop it back at his side when she flinches from his touch. She doesn't ask why he's here, she doesn't yell at her mother for informing him of what happened(chances are, half of McKinley will know about this by morning,) she's just silent. Shelby mumbles something about heading home but Rachel isn't listening, she's too busy trying to keep herself from collapsing on the disgusting, grimy hospital floor.

When her mother wraps her arm around her shoulder's, Rachel glances up-seeing that all the expression on her face, the stains of dried tears on her cheeks, the red, puffy eyes, all of it is gone. Rachel again, doesn't ask questions-she lets her mother lead her to the car, with Mr. Shuster behind her, and a chalk full of uncertainties.

….

Shelby stops at Rachel's first, telling her daughter that until her father's get back from their trip(they're on the red-eye home now,) she would be staying with her. Rachel nods hesitantly, and climbs the stairs to her bedroom. She quickly rids herself of the hospital dress and throws on a pair of longue pants and a throw-over hoodie, before heading to her closet to pull out a small bag. She fills it with the necessities she'll need, along with her laptop and cell phone, and slowly with what little energy she has left, heads back down to where her mother is waiting in the foyer, Mr. Shuster in tow.

"Ready?" Rachel says nothing, only stepping forward for her mother to grab hold of her arm again before Mr. Shuster jumps in, politely taking her bag from her. Rachel was grateful for that, seeing as her body already felt like it had ten, one hundred pound weights on it. She slides back into Shelby's range rover, shifting around in the backseat until she's comfortable(as comfortable as she can be) and quickly buckles her seat belt, glancing out the window to see her house disappear over the slowly rising horizon.

….

The ride to Shelby's house isn't long, only a mere few minutes and Rachel quickly jumps from the car the minute it's in park. She isn't quite sure if Mr. Shuster is staying the night or not, but all she really cares about right now is taking a long, hot shower and then getting to bed-because her eyes are closing on their own accord and she can barely lift her legs.

He grabs her bag for her, setting it inside of the house before he disappears into the living room and Rachel can't help but think that he's been at her mother's house before. Shelby shows her the way to the guest room before grabbing her a towel and wash cloth and stating that she'll be downstairs if Rachel needs her. The overall room is nice, big and rather spacious, but nice none-the-less. There is a closet to the right, and a conjoining bathroom to the left, with another door that leads back into the hallway. The bed is in the center of the room, pressed up against the wall, with a red, floral pattern and the dresser is directly across from the bed, pressed up against the other wall. There are two nightstands beside the bed, each with lamps on them, and the right one holds an alarm clock. Rachel sets her things down, grabbing her clothes and toiletries before sliding into the bathroom.

She starts the shower, closing the toilet seat down and setting her clothes and towel on top, before heading back to the sink-giving the water a few moments to heat up. With her hands resting on the edges of the sink, she forces herself to glance up at her reflection, gawking at what she sees. It doesn't even look like her.

The person staring back is pale and lifeless, with dark bags under her eyes and bruises beginning to cover her body. This person staring back is empty inside. This person staring back isn't the old Rachel, she realizes, as she forces herself to turn away from the mirror. The old Rachel is dead.

….

Shelby could hear the water running moments after she'd stepped into the living room where Will was waiting. She let out a small sigh, setting the two mugs of coffee down on the coffee table in front of her couch. She fell haphazardly onto it, head pounding and eyes heavy from the day's events. She glances up at Will who throws her a sympathetic smile, and grasps her hand, edging himself closer to her. Shelby freezes for a moment, wondering what he's going to do until he turns her around, her back to him, and she feels his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them gently.

A delighted moan falls from her lips as his hands work over her back. The massage he was giving her enough to knock her out cold. It felt good, it felt relaxing and relaxing was what she needed after the night she'd had. When his hands stop and she's to the point of pure exhaustion, she leans her body into Will's, smiling lightly at how perfectly the fit together, her back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist. She lets her head fall into the nook of his neck and she whimpers lightly when the events of the past few hours hit her hard and soon she finds herself sobbing into his shirt and apologizing over and over again to whatever god is listening that she wasn't there for her daughter. Will whispers sweet nothings into her ear as he rubs her back in comforting circles until the sobbing has died down into small whimpers again, and she's out cold moments later. He slides his body out from underneath hers, picks her up bridal style and as carefully and quietly as he can, carries her to her bedroom. Setting her gently on the bed, he slides off her heels, covers her with a blanket and slides out of the room with ease.

He sets the forgotten mugs of coffee in the sink in the kitchen, quickly jots her a note to leave on the counter by the coffee pot for the next morning and disappears out of the house, making sure that the door is locked with the spare key she hides under the mat outside of her door. He doesn't stop to glance back until he's in his car, and his chest constricts painfully as the reality of the situation hits him.

Rachel might've been dramatic and stubborn, but _no one_ deserves to be put through what she's dealing with now.


	3. Part III

**Author's Note:** Alright, before anyone continues on with the chapter I'd like a moment to explain myself. I am not entirely sure how long this story plans to go, but when it ends, there will be a sequel. Now, the Will/Shelby relationship, I feel I need to explain further. Yes, there will be a Will/Shelby relationship but not until further along in the story. I'm not having them jump each other's bones so the need to tell me how inappropriate they are, is unnecessary. I appreciate your reviews, I honestly and truly do and I'm not in any way, shape or form, trying to come off as a bitch-but I needed to address this. In all actuality, aside from Vocal Adrenaline and Rachel, Will is all Shelby really has. The second chapter when Will was massaging her back and carrying her up the stairs to put her in bed was a simple gesture. He let himself out of the house afterwards, it's not like he jumped into creeper mode and slid into bed with her. I'm trying to say that Will is only trying to be there for Shelby, because there isn't a chance she can go through what Rachel is currently dealing with by herself. She'd eventually crumble apart, more so then she already is. Again, I hope you understand where I'm coming from. The romantic ulterior motives of their relationship most likely will not come until much further in, if not before the sequel. Thank you regardless though, for your reviews and input. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this and I apologize for not having the chapter up sooner, my laptop's been having a few problems.

_**Mary-Marie-**_ I'm very glad you are enjoying this, and think that it's so well written. I honestly hate the second chapter, I was actually anxious about putting it up because I wasn't quite sure how the reaction would be from the readers. But thanks for reading and reviewing! And I'm glad you enjoy the Rachel/Shelby dynamic, I do too. I love me some Idina Menzel. :D Haha.

_**Hollie.14-**_ As I've stated in the author's note, and I do not mean for this to come out as harsh, it's not my intention at all, but Will/Shelby will not be developing a romantic relationship until later on. For now it's just a mere friendship, after all-aside from Rachel and the VA kids, Will's the only other person Shelby has.

_**Tivo2live-**_ Glad you enjoy this so much! I wasn't going to originally put this up because of the dark nature, but I knew I wanted someone to read it-I needed input so finally I just said fuck it, and added it onto my profile. Haha.

_**Egypt-Chan-**_I'm glad you enjoy this as well, after reading your review to 'Shark in the water,' I've been anxiously awaiting a review from you for this. I love reading your input and the fact you like it so much is really awe-inspiring, because you're probably one of the best writer's on the Glee fandom for fan fiction. So thanks! :D

….

The night had gone rather horribly for Rachel, and she found herself waking up every fifteen minutes from nightmares until her mother trudged sleepily in the room and climbed into bed with her, a comforting arm wrapped around her waist. To say the rest of the night was peaceful would be an understatement. Despite the fact that Shelby now held her daughter protectively against her chest, it didn't change the fact that Rachel flinched and shifted uneasily at the contact. She swallowed hard as tears pressed at the corners of her eyes, watching as the slowly rising horizon started to peak in through her windows.

It was just around six am, but she felt no effort, no _wanting _to get out of the bed. She felt her mother shift and push back the covers on her side of the bed before she leaned over to kiss Rachel on the temple. A shuffling of feet and she had disappeared within seconds and Rachel was left to turn on her side, facing the open bedroom door that expanded into the vacant hallway.

A small sigh left her lips as she forced herself to sit up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. It was a Monday, which meant she had school-but in no means was she in the mood to go. She swallowed the small lump forming in her throat as she thought about last night. _Mr. Schuster knows, _she thinks silently. She felt tears well in her eyes. It was never a fact put into words, but she knew in her head that he was aware. Her mother had to have told him. She felt a slight pang of anger as she glanced at her mother's returning form, a small smile played out on her lips.

"Oh good, you're up. Your fathers flight should be in around two this afternoon, they said to keep you home from school. I've called off as well. I'm thinking about making pancakes, does that sound alright to you?"

Rachel is only half-mindedly listening to the drabble that falls from her mother's mouth but she nods and clears her throat, chewing absentmindedly on her bottom lip as she pulls her aching form out of bed.

She watches as her mother stands there for a moment longer, her eyes burning holes into Rachel's flesh before she turns on her heels and heads down the stairs and into the kitchen. Rachel fights off a fresh set of tears burning in the corners of her eyes as she forces her feet to drag her into the bathroom towards the mirror. Her eyes are squeezed shut, she refused to look at herself again. She already knows how bad it is.

She turns away quickly, heading to start the shower as she strips down and steps in. Her body is shaking as she washes it thoroughly and roughly, wanting every ounce of _him_ wiped clean from her skin and out of her mind. She whimpers lightly as she runs the washcloth over a blue and purple bruise on her arm, the realization that she'll never be clean, beginning to set in. She may be clean on the outside, but _never_ on the inside.

As she fishes through her suitcase for fresh clothes, she curses silently when she realizes the only thing she packed is a skirt and cardigan. She cringes as she slides it on, not really _wanting_ her mother to see her freshly formed bruises and cuts aligning her body, but she knows there isn't a way out of it. Sighing, she sucks in a sharp breath before throwing the door open to the guest bedroom and heading downstairs to face her mother.

It's now or never.

….

Shelby had found herself thrown into a bit of a reckless sleep, waking up to the sound of her daughter's screaming. She wasn't entirely sure how she'd maneuvered herself into Rachel's bed, but as soon as she did-she wrapped a protective arm around Rachel's waist, wanting nothing more than to soothe her. She felt Rachel flinch, shifting uncomfortably in her grasp and for a second, thought about letting her go, but she didn't.

The rest of the night was spent waking up every five minutes to find Rachel whimpering in her sleep, and Shelby could feel the hot tears spring to her eyes. Her daughter had been brutalized and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

It was killing her.

The morning came too soon and she found herself waking up as soon as the first slit of sun rose in through the window in the guest bedroom. Not wanting to wake what she thought, was her sleeping daughter, she slid carefully from the bed, placing a small kiss on the temple of Rachel's head before disappearing back into her room to get ready for the day. When she was dressed in her normal attire, she called the school, informing them that she wouldn't be in that day and to call for a sub. The principle, shocked and slightly concerned, agreed and she was left listening to the dead line.

Shelby understood where he was coming from. She has never, in a day in her life, called off of work. But this wasn't just a fluke, this was her _daughter_ and she wasn't about to leave her in a house alone after what had happened only a mere twenty four hours before.

She found herself sniffling as she hit the end button on her phone, pushing it aside and it was only then, as she brought her hands to her face, that she realized she was crying. Her bottom lip quivered but she'd be damned if she would show Rachel the weakness that was currently succumbing her. She had to be strong, for the sake of her daughter. She took a moment to breathe before she pushed herself to her feet again and trudged towards where Rachel was staying. Words began spewing out of her before she could even blink and within seconds she was headed towards the kitchen, pouring herself a hot cup of coffee and finding the note Will had left.

She took in a deep breath as her eyes skimmed over the words.

_Shelby,_

_Send Rachel my condolences; I really hope she's alright. I made sure to lock the front door as I let myself out, give me a call if you need to talk again, and remember-you don't have to deal with this alone._

_-Will._

As she set the note back on the counter with shaking hands, she ran a hand over her face-trying to calm herself before she attempted to make pancakes. In all honestly, Shelby Corcoran was not a cook, by any means, but her daughter needed to eat and she wasn't going to settle for Rachel eating something simple as cereal. Heading towards the stove she quickly prepared the pancakes and set them in a pan, letting them cook for a few moments as she listened for her daughter to come down the stairs.

It took all of about ten minutes before Rachel had emerged before her, fully clothed and she felt herself sucking in a sharp gasp as she looked at her daughter's form. Bruises covered her body and Shelby had to remind herself to breathe as Rachel took a seat at the table, fidgeting nervously with her hands.

As the pancakes finished, she handed a plate to Rachel, along with a glass of orange juice and watched as her daughter picked at the plate. Another small sigh escaped her lips as Shelby sat down across from her.

"Honey, you have to eat."

Rachel glanced up at her, eyes filled with pain and Shelby swallowed nervously. She wasn't entirely sure how to deal with this. Rachel wasn't talking, wasn't eating, but _damn_ was she hurting.

A small reply fell from her lips as Shelby felt her entire being flood with guilt.

"I'm vegan."

_Shit,_ She thought silently. _Pancakes have eggs in them._

Shelby nodded, quickly taking the plate as Rachel sipped at her orange juice and Shelby tried to think of something else her daughter could eat. "What about cereal?"

Rachel shook her head, glancing down to her hands in her lap and Shelby bit her lip.

"I…I'm not hungry." She heard her daughter choke out. Shelby sighed unhappily, but nodded-knowing she couldn't _force _her daughter to eat. She was sixteen after all, not five. She watched as Rachel finished her orange juice, quickly excuse herself and Shelby immediately placed her face in her hands, defeated.

How much _more_ could she fuck up.

….

Hiram and Leroy Barry were always very calm, collected men but the moment they'd heard the news that surrounded their daughter, all their calm and rational nature flew out the window. They had caught the first red-eye they could, wanting nothing more than to see their hurting, distraught daughter. Fear flooded both men as they sat anxiously on the airplane, waiting for the moment the pilot announced their landing.

It had seemed like hours of waiting before they found themselves in the Lima, Ohio airport, fighting their way through crowds of people to grab their luggage and take off. The highway was backed up with two different car accidents which didn't help their case and made their insufferable ride even longer as Hiram tried desperately to weave through cars, not caring about breaking the speed limit.

He wanted to see his daughter, hell, he _needed_ too, and he knew that Leroy felt the same way. He found himself turning to Leroy as he turned down the street to Shelby's house, words falling from his lips.

"We're here."

….

Rachel found herself staring out the window of the guest bedroom, waiting anxiously for her father's to arrive. She knew Shelby was only trying to help, that she was concerned, but Rachel couldn't deal with it. Her father's always knew what to say, what to do, Shelby didn't. She didn't blame her for this, but Rachel did feel the familiar pang of anger spark back up as she thought of Mr. Schuster and the fact he now _knew_ what had happened.

She didn't _want_ him to know! She didn't want _anyone_ to know, but her mother had blown that for her. She knew that if she had gone to her father's they wouldn't have even thought of mentioning it to him, but they were gone and Shelby wasn't.

She was brought out of her reverie by the sound of a knock on the doorframe, and she turned slowly-breath hitched, not wanting to know what was on the other side of the door. Or _who_. Her mind flashed back to _him_, and she felt bile rise in her throat. Quickly pushing it down, she felt slight relief fill her as she found her father's rushing towards her, enveloping her in a much needed hug. She'd flinched slightly at first, smelling _him_ against her again, but as her father Leroy spoke soothing words into her ear, she slowly calmed.

They mentioned something about grabbing her bags, but Rachel had stopped listening, wanting to cover herself up as she watched her father's mouths drop as they took her in. She knew what they were thinking. She was a mess, a disgusting, dirty mess and nothing she could do would change that.

She looked at the ground as her mother approached her, saying something about calling her if she needed her but Rachel didn't bother to reply. She gave her a weak, small hug before disappearing down the stairs behind her father's. Hiram was carrying her suitcases and Leroy had an arm draped around her, the two stopping in the foyer to thank Shelby for taking care of her, before he led Rachel out to the car.

Her throat was raw and burning as she climbed into the backseat with Hiram. Leroy had taken the wheel now but found himself throwing worried glances towards Hiram as he drove towards the house. Rachel was silent the entire ride, knees hugged closely to her body as she rested her head on her father's shoulder, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.

The ride home was short, but to Rachel it had felt like an entire lifetime. She wanted nothing more than to climb into her own bed, but her father's had other ideas. They wanted details, they wanted answers to their questions and even though they weren't pressing her to answer, she felt as if she owed it to them to do so. As Leroy came back down into the living room from setting her bags in her bedroom, Rachel had taken up residence on the couch, a blanket strewn across her to cover the bruises on her legs.

Her father's sat across from her, Hiram in the recliner, and Leroy sitting on the arm of it, waiting patiently for their wounded daughter to speak. Rachel wanted too, but at the same time she was conflicted. She didn't want to tell them because that meant reliving it again and she was already dealing with that enough as it was, thanks to the nightmares. She fought with the screaming voices in her head as she opened and closed her mouth, several times before she found herself sobbing softly. Her father's had made their way over to comfort her but she wouldn't let them near her, she couldn't. She found herself being carried to her bedroom by Hiram, with Leroy trailing behind as she was set in her bed, blankets pulled up to her neck as she curled herself into the mattress. Her heart was heavy and her mind was reeling and she wanted nothing more than to sleep but she couldn't. Sleeping meant seeing _him_ again and she wasn't able to deal with that.

Sniffling, she turned her backs to her father's, not wanting to see the looks on their faces, and waited until she heard their footsteps backtracking until they were gone completely from her bedroom, leaving her alone in the oversized bed-sobbing until she found herself over the toilet, retching.

It was just one disaster after the next.

….

At first, they had refused to believe it-refused to even think that something so _horrid_ could happen to their daughter, but as Hiram and Leroy sat at the kitchen table, staring into mugs of coffee, they _knew_. They knew by the way Rachel was closed off, barely letting them near her and shuddering as Hiram carried her to her bedroom that it was true. Hiram sucked in a sharp breath as he looked up at Leroy, finding their eyes locking into a knowing stare.

"I think we should call her therapist," He found himself telling the African American man at the other end of the table.

"Are you sure? I mean, if she won't talk to us, or Shelby, what on _earth_ makes you think she'll talk to her therapist?" Leroy hadn't meant for his answer to come out as harshly as it did but it indeed _did_, and he found himself muttering an apology to Hiram within seconds.

Hiram shook his head, muttering that it was fine before he looked up at Leroy again, despair filling his features. "If she won't talk to us, or Shelby, or her therapist-then what do we do?"

Leroy sighed, pushing back his chair and walking to stand behind Hiram who was staring once again, into his coffee with tears brimming in his eyes. "We give her time," Leroy says softly. "We give her time and let her know that we're here for her, no matter what-and eventually, she'll come to us. Eventually she'll talk but eventually is _not_ now. No matter how bad we want it to be."


	4. Part IV

Rachel didn't sleep that night. In fact, she spent it over the toilet, alternating between crying and puking and begging whatever deity was listening for the madness she was feeling to end. Her father's had checked in on her multiple times, both alternating between holding back her hair and rubbing her back, to going into the kitchen to get her water and aspirin.

"Rachel." Leroy spoke soothingly as he once again stepped into her bathroom the next morning, around 6am. Rachel had been leaning with her back against the outside of the bath tub, head in hands and shoulders shaking slightly to indicate she was crying again. Leroy sighed softly and crouched down in front of his daughter, delicately placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumped up immediately, eyes wide with fear as she turned away from him, itching to get out of the soft grasp he had her in.

She shook her head, the tears dripping faster down her chin and onto the tiled floor as Leroy slowly retracted his hand, dropping it back to his side. "Rachel," He begins again. "Your father and I thought it'd be best to keep you home from school for a few days. We took off as well."

She swallows the lump in her throat, squeezing her eyes shut as a soft whimper falls from her lips and she nods slowly before stepping around him and out of the bathroom. Her stomach has finally settled but her body still ached horribly and as she climbed into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, she heard her father's voice again. "We'll just be downstairs if you need us," and soon the only thing she hears is the sound of her father's footsteps dissipating until they're gone altogether and she's met once again with silence.

She's starting to like the silence, she thinks. She's starting to like it a lot.

….

"I want to give her therapist a shot." Hiram speaks softly as he shuffles around the kitchen later on that morning. Leroy throws him a rather incredulous look and he sighs, knowing he'll have to explain further.

"I just want to _try_. Somewhere, deep inside is the old Rachel, and if she won't come out for us-then maybe he can drag it out of her. Slowly." Leroy frowns, digging the steel toe of his shoe into the tiled kitchen floor, staring deeply into his mug as he lets out a deep breath.

"I still don't think this is a good idea." He mumbles.

Hiram groans in agitation, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Then what do you suppose we _do_? I just want to _try_ and see if the therapist will do any good. He always has before."

Leroy looks up at him, his brown eyes swimming with tears and Hiram bites his lip, walking around the counter and over toward his partner, resting his hands on Leroy's shoulders and placing a small kiss on his forehead.

"What if we tried Shelby again?" Leroy asked, his tone hopeful.

"Look," Hiram begins, sighing once more. "Let's try the therapist first, if she still isn't talking-I'll give Shelby another call. Alright?"

Leroy nods at this, as he leans his head into the crook of Hiram's neck, the two standing idly in the kitchen. It sounds selfish, he's aware, but a small part of him hopes that the therapist cannot get through to Rachel. It may seem absurd, and to most people, it probably is-but in the back of his mind he's silently thanking God for bringing Shelby back together with Rachel. After all, Rachel could really use a mother right now.

….

Rachel had woken up around two that afternoon, eyes bleary with sleep and hair tousled as she finds herself trudging slowly down the stairs and into the living room where her fathers are sitting with the television on mute, Leroy adamantly talking on the phone to someone unknown.

Hiram looks up as Rachel enters and gives her a small smile, patting the seat next to him for her to join. She clears her throat, wincing lightly at the pain that courses through it and she walks hesitantly to the red sofa centered in the middle of the room, and taking a seat beside him.

Leroy hangs up the phone, mumbling a small thank you to the mysterious person on the other line and turns to Rachel, sucking in a rather sharp breath before he begins to speak, his voice soft. "Rachel, honey-that was your therapist. We've made you an appointment at his office today around three."

Rachel frowns lightly but says nothing, running a shaky hand through her hair as she stands back on her feet. She gives him a small nod before retreating back to her bedroom, heart dropping into her chest as she closes the door behind her. The click of the lock sounds through her ears and she breathes out a sigh of relief, happy to be alone again because she felt as if only a few moments ago, she was suffocating.

Suffocating from her father's, the breaths they took, the stares they threw her way. She shakily pulls out a pair of black lounge pants and a white throw-over sweater, that is two sizes too big, so big she almost drowns in it. She changes quickly, not glancing once at the reflection in the mirror. She runs a brush haphazardly through her hair before throwing it carelessly on her dresser. Glancing back at the clock, she sees its two thirty. She frowns again. It took her thirty minutes just to get dressed, and she wasn't even trying to look remotely presentable.

Her arms felt like led and she was sure her legs would give out as she once again, descended the stairs, taking a sharp left into the living room where her fathers were speaking in hushed tones. When they see her, she licks her lips and hides her hands in her sweatshirt, motioning for the front door. It's her silent way of telling them they should probably go.

Her father's throw each other a glance and then turn their attention back to Rachel who has already started shuffling weakly towards the front door. From a distance, Leroy notices the frailty of his daughter, the paleness of her skin, the sickly features it had taken on and the pain evident in her eyes. She posses little to no energy and he more than once, has to lunge forward when he sees her legs start to shake a little and she begins to go towards the ground. With an arm wrapped tightly around her thin frame, he lifts her gently and sets her in the car, leaning over a bit to pull the seatbelt across her and click it into place. Closing the door for her, he comes face-to-face with Hiram again, both sharing the same look of dread.

Their daughter is slowly dying, inside and out and they're running out of ways to help her.

….

Her therapist's name is Ron Grunter and she's been seeing him for as long as she can remember. He's a nice man, somewhere in his early 60's with a pot belly and graying hair, the small amount he has left. His glasses are constantly perched upon his nose and she has on numerous occasions, wondered how the hell he can see like that-but never once, question's it aloud.

He holds a clipboard and pen, ready to jot down notes, and the session has only just started. Her father's have disappeared into the hallway and she is left alone with him, and although is just she and him, she feels the suffocation returning and her anxiety slowly building.

She sits on the black leather couch placed against the wall adjacent to the door. Her legs are pulled up to her chest and she is resting her chin on her knees, waiting for him to begin talking as she lets her eyes wonder around the room. She has never been in here before, but it's quite quaint, she thinks. There is a plot rested to the right side of Mr. Grunter's desk that is wilting slowly and Rachel bites down hard on her lip as she notices how similar she feels to it.

Wilting, or another word that darkens her mood, _dying_.

Mr. Grunter clears his throat and she just barely lifts her eyes to look at him. His mouth is moving, but she's not really listening, not really caring enough _to_ listen. She just wants to be back at home, in bed again.

"Rachel?" She sighs unhappily. "Rachel?" He repeats.

She lifts her chin and then slowly turns her head to meet his eyes. Her breath hitches in her throat at what she sees before her. Mr. Grunter is gone, replaced by a vivid image of the man who had slowly ripped her apart no more than two nights ago and her hands are suddenly shaking and her chest suddenly feels as if an elephant is sitting on it, and she can't breathe, can't think, her eyes filling with tears as she tries to back away from him, tries to scream.

Nothing comes out, and then slowly she feels her vision clear and her breathing slow and the horrible, retched man has disappeared and Mr. Grunter has returned. She feels the tears come to a halt and she runs a sweating hand through her hair.

"Are you aware what that was, Rachel?"

She bites her lip again, shaking her head as she sniffles.

"It was what is called a panic attack. It's a sudden bout of intense fear or impending doom for little to no apparent reason at all. They come without warning Rachel, and it's obvious that yours did. Can you tell me what you saw when you had the panic attack? Was anything coming for you? Did it feel as if the walls were caving in on you?"

She swallows the lump in her throat and stays silent, still trying to recover and process the information she'd just received. She didn't want to believe him, she couldn't-because what she _saw_, what she _felt_ was not, in any means a panic attack. It was real, it was here, and it was tormenting her mercifully.

"Rachel?"

She pushes herself deeper into the couch, wanting to hide away from him, from everything else that had terrified her only mere moments ago-but she can't keep hiding and she knows it. Eventually she'll have to go back to school and face everyone, eventually she'll have to see her mother, and eventually she'll have to start talking again.

"Rachel, I'm afraid our time is up, but I'd very much appreciate it if you came back in next Monday-maybe you'll feel like speaking then." She doesn't say goodbye, doesn't thank him, doesn't speak at all, instead-standing abruptly and flinging the door open and practically throwing herself back into the dimly lit hallway where her father's are waiting. She glances at the clock on the wall ahead of her, noting that it's already five. She feels as if she'd only been sitting there five minutes.

Her father's look hopefully to Ron who sadly shakes his head at the men, informing them that Rachel's next session is Monday at noon before saying a polite goodbye and heading back into his office. Rachel glances up at her father's who are silent but clutching onto her with dear life, as if she'll suddenly collapse. She takes it that Mr. Grunter had informed them of her 'panic attack.'

She yawns lightly as she climbs back into the black SUV, resting her head against the window and staring at the trees passing in a blur as they head home. Her eyelids are heavy and her stomach is turning again and she feels as if she could collapse(although she's already sitting down) and she feels her eyes filling up with tears as she squeezes them shut.

She isn't even aware that she had fallen asleep again until the sun seeps into the window the next morning and she's glaring at the large, red numbers on her alarm clock that say 10:15. She cannot remember anything from the previous night, so she isn't all too aware if she'd had a nightmare or not but as she sits up in bed and reaches for her phone on her nightstand, she sighs softly.

She waits a moment for it to turn on, and then her eyes widen as she notices the missed calls and texts she'd received. She hadn't bothered to check her phone in over four days now, but she was sure that if another text message popped up into her inbox her phone might explode. Most of them were from the Glee kids, asking if she was alright, if she needed anything, and when she was coming back, but a few were from her mother. She cocked her head to the side lightly as she read through her missed calls list. All of them were from Shelby, with the exception of four from Quinn. She wasn't quite sure why Quinn was calling, she'd never really gotten along with the girl, but she felt a hint of a smile creep its way onto her face as she skimmed over it again. She knew she should probably call Shelby back, seeing as she was her mother after all-but she was still exhausted and her stomach was turning again, and besides-Rachel reasoned, if it was _truly_ important she'd stop by.

She found herself shutting her phone off again after deleting all the texts and slowly pushed her body out of bed and down the stairs. Her fathers were in the kitchen making breakfast, and Rachel gently slid her body into a chair at the table-giving them a gentle nod before Hiram turned around completely to face her.

"Shelby called last night while you were sleeping." He spoke. "We invited her over for dinner this evening. We thought it might do some good if you had your mother around right now."

Rachel swallowed nervously as she nodded again. What happened if Shelby asked questions like her fathers did? What if she wanted to know all of what happened that night? Rachel found herself standing up again and rushing up the stairs without warning, barely making it to her room before she found herself shaking violently with loud sobs falling from her small form. It felt as if someone had lit her on fire, and her chest was heaving violently as she closed the door behind her, leaning against it as she waited for the wave of fear she suddenly felt to pass. It was as if a bone-crushing pressure had taken refuge inside of her, an invisible band making its way around her rib cage and she found herself gasping for breath-light headed and nauseous until once again, it subsided, moments later and the only thing she could do was collapse onto the floor with her knees drawn to her chest and rock back and forth.

She was losing it, fast.


	5. Part V

**Author's Note: **I realized somewhere in the last chapter I'd put 'Shelby could really use a mom right now,' instead of Rachel-whoops! Hahah. But I went back and changed it before re-uploading so for those who have this on 'story alert,' and you're wondering why you got another alert for chapter four it's because I had to re upload it after I fixed it.

_**Starophie-**_ You never know, there may or may _not_ be Faberry action later on. I haven't quite decided what I want to do with them, but there will be a friendship.

_**Reillyt4-**_ Thanks for the heads up about the mistake! I never noticed. Hah. The things that come out when you write at three in the morning.

_**JackyKay-**_ Like I said with Starophie-there may or may not be Faberry, but I'm not sure. As of right _now_, until Rachel begins her healing process-there will only be a friendship between the two. And the Gleeks do know about the rape, I apologize. You'll see how in this chapter.

_**Hollie.14-**_ Trust me, Shelby will definitely be involved-especially since I love Idina Menzel and I thought the story line was a huge jip. I still don't understand why Ryan bothered to bring her on for the back nine if he wasn't going to give her a decent enough story line. I'm pretty sure that a lot of fans(or at least some of the one's I've talked too recently) are very pissed off about the way it ended up as well. I know I am.

….

Dinner that night was quiet, and Rachel could do nothing but stare at her plate as she pushed the food around. She wanted to say something, _anything_ to her father's, her mother, but she didn't know what. It was as if she'd suddenly forgotten how to speak. Her mouth was dry and her throat was burning and she felt pain radiating through her even as she did something as simple as take a breath.

Rachel had yet to even acknowledge her mother, hiding away in her room until her father's called her down for dinner. She didn't want to move unless she had too, and unfortunately for her-she had too. As she sucked in a small breath, she winced lightly at the small twinge of pain she felt in her ribs. She wasn't hungry, the food on her plate looked nauseating and she was suddenly growing very, very warm. With shaking hands she pushed back her chair, cringing at the screeching sound it made against the tiles before she picked up her plate and took it to the sink, scraping everything into the disposal and turning it on.

"Honey, aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten in days."

But Rachel didn't care. She quickly shook her head as she pulled at the sleeves of her throw-over sweatshirt turning back on her heel to face her father's and mother was eying her with suspicion and worry. Rachel knew why she was worried, knew why she was so suspicious. She wasn't eating, wasn't speaking and she was so closed off from the world around her. Rachel had to practically fight to keep her emotions in check and her eyes open and all she ever did now was sleep and shower vigorously to try and wipe _him_ off of her.

But no matter how hard she scrubbed it was no use. He was inside of her now and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. She found herself slowly being drawn from her thoughts as she heard her mother's voice ring through her ears. "Rachel, I agree with your father's. You should really eat, you're getting too thin."

Rachel swallowed, shaking her head again. Didn't they see? Didn't they understand that she wasn't _hungry_? Eating felt like a chore now, along with everything else in her life and she just didn't have the energy or effort to keep up with it. She frowned lightly as the thought of wanting to die flashed through her head.

Did she? Did she want to die? Rachel was unsure, about that-and everything else.

But she did know one thing, she _needed_ to get away from everyone that was suddenly staring at her, wanting her to speak. She knew they were growing tired of her silence, but she didn't do anything to stop it. She _liked_ the silence. She liked it a lot.

….

A soft knock was heard at her door an hour later. She listened to the creak it made as it opened slightly and out of the corner of her eye she saw her mother enter the room. But not once did she tear her eyes away from the ceiling. She'd been lying on her bed, hands rested on her stomach, eyes looking upward for awhile now-and she made no effort to move.

"Rachel? Can we talk?"

Rachel sighed unhappily and shrugged her shoulders. She didn't care if they talked or not. Granted, Shelby would be the one to do all of the talking and Rachel would, if she felt like it, listen. She isn't quite sure when she got so careless, but it was starting to frighten her a little. She wasn't used to not caring, not speaking, not _singing_-but for once in her life, she thought silently, she was alright with that.

"I just…wanted to see how you were doing."

The question was rather redundant in itself but Shelby asked it anyway, and quickly stepped in the room and took a seat beside her daughter who had still refused to look at her. She got another shrug of her shoulders and Shelby sighed, defeated, feeling the tears begin to pool in the corners of her eyes. She'd never felt as helpless as she did at that point in time.

"Rachel," She pleaded voice soft. "Please talk to me."

Rachel sucked in a breath and slowly lifted herself into a seated position and finally, after what had felt like hours to Shelby, Rachel had torn her eyes away from the ceiling to look into her mother's green eyes.

She found herself opening her mouth, but closed it again when she realized that nothing was coming out. Shelby felt a lone tear trickle its way down her cheek as she reached out for her daughter. Rachel flinched out of instinct and turned away, curling up into a fetal position on her side as she struggled to breathe. Shelby watched hopelessly as her daughter's soft cries and ragged breaths soon filled the room. She had no idea what to do. Rachel wasn't allowing anyone near her and she wasn't speaking.

"Your father's are thinking about sending you back to school tomorrow." She find herself saying, her words delicate, dancing on her tongue. "Are you excited to go back to glee?"

Another stupid question. If Rachel was relatively excited about Glee, she would've gone back to school the day after the attack. She'd be singing happily around the house and chatting adamantly about solos but she wasn't. Not in the least.

"I heard about your therapy appointment today. Your dad's told me."

Shelby was once again met with no answer from her daughter. She felt her heart plummet into her stomach as she tried once again, to reach out to Rachel-delicately running her hands through the younger girl's hair. She pulled back again when Rachel elicited a small gasp and then drew in another ragged breath.

"How about watching some television?"

Rachel did nothing, said nothing but watched as Shelby clicked the power button on the remote and the evening news flashed on the screen. She could distinctly make out one of the women speaking, informing them about her attack a few nights ago. Rachel's eyes instantly went wide and she sat up quickly, her eyes flashing towards the screen as she continued.

"And in other news, a local high school girl, Rachel Barry was attacked a few nights ago, following a house party," Shelby instantly switched the channel as she noticed Rachel starting to shake again, tears dripping down her eyes. But Rachel was no longer paying attention, the only thing she could think about was the fact her attack was on the evening news. She felt her stomach turn as she raised a hand to her mouth.

People _knew_. Everyone at _school_ would know. She stood on shaky limbs as she dashed towards the bathroom, ignoring her mother's worried pleas. She collapsed in front of the toilet, tears rushing faster like faucets from her eyes as she threw up the contents of her stomach. She felt a hand on her shoulder as another grasped her hair and she flinched again, before her stomach lurched and she leaned forward once more, dry heaving into the toilet until all she could do was gag and cry softly.

Shelby felt her hands shaking as she held her daughter's hair back while mentally degrading herself for not changing the channel faster, for turning the television on in the first place. She was supposed to be _helping_ her daughter, not hurting her even more then she already was. When she saw Rachel was finished emptying her stomach she stood up, letting the girl slide away from the toilet until her back was pressed firmly against the tub. Shelby quickly ran a wash cloth under cold water, ringing it out before walking back to press it to her daughter's burning forehead. Rachel's eyes met hers and Shelby shuddered. The fear, the pain she saw in her daughter was almost unbearable and she soon found herself crying along with the smaller brunette until she'd scooped her up into her arms and they were rocking back and forth.

….

The next morning came too soon for Rachel and she found herself shuddering as her father shook her awake lightly, telling her they'd like if she tried to go to school. They did happen to give her an ultimatum though, saying that if she didn't feel like she could stay the whole day-someone would come to pick her up. She nodded weakly and slowly pulled herself out of bed, body weak and exhausted from the events of the night before. Her father quickly descended the stairs until she was left alone once more, staring at the closed door in front of her. She had to get ready, but she made no effort to do so.

She had to _face_ these people and their accusing stares, the questions and looks she'd get, the fear she would inevitably face within seconds as she shuffled around her room trying to find something to cover her up. The bruises had started to fade, but she still couldn't let anyone see. As she pulled on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, something she'd gotten awhile back as a Christmas present from her father, she thought back to the texts and missed calls from the Glee kids.

It hit her like a bus and she had to take a moment to regain her composure. They _knew_ already, they had to have. It would've explained why they asked so much, why they wanted to know how she was and if she needed anything. Maybe that's why Quinn had called her so much over the course of the last five days. Then again, it could've been something entirely different-but Rachel had known in the pit of her stomach that it wasn't.

She sifted through her drawers to find a suitable shirt, something that didn't show too much skin, something that kept her covered at all times. She settled on a white long sleeved shirt that had at one point, fitted perfectly to her but now clung loosely against her thinning frame. She grabbed a black sweatshirt and threw it on over top, grabbing her chucks she'd gotten awhile back (sensible shoes to wear when she didn't want to wear moccasins or flats) and slid them on her feet, tying them up slowly. For the first time since the night she was attacked, she finds herself looking in the mirror again. Her skin is still deathly pale and her eyes are dark and hollow, with purple bags under them.

A bruise aligns her right cheek and various cuts, small as they may be, are scattered along the features of her face. She groans under her breath, the noise barely audible as she fishes through her makeup bag for cover up. She doesn't want anyone to see them, see the bruises that rest on her skin and she scrubs the cover up across her face, trying desperately to hide the marks. They're still there when she's finished, but they're faint. She adds a small hint of dark eyeliner to her eyes and then puts the tube away. She doesn't bother to add blush or lip gloss or eye shadow because she just doesn't care enough. Who is she trying to impress? Who would she _want_ to impress there? The answer is no one.

She runs a brush through her hair before throwing it into a messy pony tail, throwing her bag over her shoulder and hesitantly walking down the stairs, her phone bouncing in the back pocket of her jeans. She isn't ready to do this, she thinks. She's not even remotely _close_ to being ready and as much as she wishes to hide out in her bedroom for the rest of eternity, she's aware she can't. Her father's are sitting patiently at the kitchen table, the two speaking softly as they sip casually on their coffee. Rachel isn't quite sure when Shelby left the night before, but she knows it was somewhere around eleven or twelve at night after the crying fit the two had, had long since passed and Rachel was once again asleep in her bed. She shakes herself from her plaguing thoughts as she stands in front of the two men who now hold worried expressions on their face. "Why don't you sit down and eat? We have a few minutes before we have to leave." Leroy says, his voice as delicate and careful as Shelby's was the night before. Rachel sighs and looks at her father's who eyes hold such hope and she reluctantly takes a seat and glances down at the plate in front of her. A mass of food is sat upon it and Rachel can feel her stomach turning at the mere thought of having to eat it. It's not that the food is disgusting by any means, her father's are both wonderful cooks, it's the simple fact that all she's done lately is cry and vomit and she isn't quite sure if she can get her stomach to settle long enough to digest food.

Hesitantly she picks up the fork and stabs the food around on her plate before slowly dragging it up to her mouth and popping it in, chewing carefully. Her stomach gives a small protest and she frowns, and her father's instantly pipe up with questions.

"Is the food not good, sweetie?" She swallows and shakes her head and they frown, thinking that she meant it wasn't. The food it good, she concurs silently, but her throat is on fire and her stomach won't cooperate to digest it and she isn't quite sure if she's going to throw up yet or not. She swallows the lump in her throat and takes another bite to assure them otherwise, and then another-slowly and surely finishing the plate before taking a large gulp of water to wash it down. Her stomach is turning more violently now and she quickly rests her hand on it, as if to still the nausea she's feeling. Her eyes cast a glance at the clock and she bites down on her lip, knowing she has to get going. Her father's are driving her, for that she is grateful, but that doesn't mean she wants to go anymore then she did before.

She clutches her bag close to her chest as she sits in the car, heading down the road towards the school with her father, Hiram driving and Leroy sitting in the passenger's seat, humming to whatever song is on the radio. Hiram casts a glance in her direction as he pulls up to the stairs in front of the school. "Remember our ultimatum sweetie. If you feel like you can't stay, call your father or I and we'll pick you up." Rachel nods. "Are you staying after for Glee practice?"

She hadn't thought about this. It's a Tuesday, which means she does indeed, have Glee practice today. With a reluctant shrug of the shoulders, she waves a small goodbye to her father's before heading hesitantly into the building. The hallways are empty, and she realizes as she heads in the direction of the front office, that everyone is already in first period. So much for not being late, she thinks-but in all honesty, she's glad she is. She didn't want to have to face everyone right away, she isn't sure if she would be able too.

The front office is buzzing with noise as she walks in but it quickly falls silent and she finds herself wanting to sink further into the oversized sweat shirt she's wearing as she nibbles o her bottom lip and hands the note to the secretary with shaking limbs. The woman gives her a polite smile, quickly scribbling something down on a piece of paper and then leaves her to get on her way to class. She makes it to her locker after what feels like an eternity and for a few moments, struggles to open it until she hears the click and it flies open, and the door nearly falling off its hinges as she haphazardly shoves her bag with the books she isn't in need of at the moment, into it. She lets it close with a small thud and then clicks the lock back in place before heading down the hallway, her heart beating loudly against her rib cage and her stomach turning. She knows she shouldn't have eaten because now she is aware of how increasingly worse her stomach is getting and she barely makes it into a stall in the women's bathroom before it comes back up. She sits there for a few moments after she's finished, trying to still her rapidly beating heart and calm her nerves. She hears the door to the bathroom open and close and she freezes. She knows she can't stay in the stall all day, but she doesn't want to see who is on the other side, washing their hands in the sink. With a deep breath, she pushes herself to her feet and slowly opens the door, peering her head out to see who it is.

Quinn Fabray is on the other side, and she quickly throws Rachel a furtive glance before speaking. "Rachel?" Her voice is soft and bordering on concern and Rachel swallows and nods her head before stepping out. Quinn turns away from the sink immediately and walks over to the brunette, smiling lightly. "You're back."

Rachel stares at the blond, whose stomach seemed to have grown substantially since she's been away, and then very weakly-she nods. Quinn reaches out, touching the brunette lightly on her shoulder before speaking again, not noticing the stiffness of Rachel's body and the flinch she'd made from the contact. "I heard about what happened…it was uhm, on the news. Are you okay?"

Rachel swallows, squeezing her eyes shut. This is what she'd wanted to avoid. People knowing, people asking questions, people touching her and talking to her as if she'd break-although at this point, she just might. "Rachel?"

Rachel can feel the tears burning in the corners of her eyes as she sniffles, and slowly opens her eyes again-the tears slowly cascading down her face. Quinn looks at the brunette, mouth gaped open in shock before she takes in the shaking form of the girl and sighs sadly. "You want to just stay in here with me until first period is over? It ends in about five minutes anyway."

Rachel finds herself nodding as she slides down against the wall of the girl's bathroom, Quinn mimicking her actions as she takes a place beside her. The two are silent for a few moments before Quinn speaks again, glancing over at the brunette who has calmed down substantially. "I know this might seem silly, and certainly shocking to you seeing as you and I were never really…_friends_, but…I'm glad you're back Rach."

Rachel looks at her and nods her head, the faintest of smile's grazing her face as she exhales slowly and adverts her attention back to the bathroom door. The small, lone words fall from her lips before she really notices and her eyes go wide, along with Quinn's, when she does. "Thanks."


	6. Part VI

**Author's Note: **Wow, fifty-five reviews in five chapters? That's kind of insane, but thanks a bunch. I had to delete Microsoft word off of my laptop because it was killing my disc space(which I need) so the formatting of these next few chapters might be tad whonky. I apologize in advance. Hah.

_**Cissy Black Malfoy-**_ Don't worry, if I plan to take Rachel and Quinn to a romantic level, it won't be until much later, most likely in the sequel. For now, it's just a friendship and focusing on Rachel trying to heal.

_**Reillyt4-**_ Don't worry, I plan to incoorperate some of the Glee Kid's reactions, maybe not all-but some. It will be there, but it'll probably be brief.

_**Hollie.14-**_ I don't so much mind the fact that Shelby adopted Beth, it's more along the lines of the fact that she tried so damn hard to track down her daughter and then decides she wants nothing to do with her. It made no sense. Why bother?

_**Phases of obsession-**_ Cool pen name by the way. :) Hah. I'm glad you like this so much and yes, Rachel is pretty brave-but then again, this _is_ Rachel so I'm not very surprised. Hahah.

….

First period turned into second period as Rachel and Quinn sat silently in the girl's bathroom, the two making no effort to move at the sound of the bell. Quinn's head turned towards the brunette, studying her with a worried expression set on her face. Rachel swallowed hard, hands shaking.

"You want to just, hide out in here until lunch or something?"

Rachel nodded, throat sore and head spinning, despite the fact she'd only uttered a single word. In all honesty, she wanted to call her father's and tell them to get her, but she knew she couldn't. They needed to work and she needed to be at school. That, and she wasn't quite sure if she could speak again, let alone to them. If she did, she knew they'd start asking questions and she didn't want to answer them yet-not again, she wasn't ready.

She felt as if she'd taken one step forward and then ten steps back.

….

When the bell for lunch had rang through the slient reverie, both girl's jumped slightly and then turned to face one another, faces taking a crimson red color to them. Quinn let out a small sigh and stood up before reaching out her hand for Rachel to take. Rachel studied it for a moment, then looked at the blond and the sincerity her eyes held and slowly took her hand, pulling herself to her feet. She walked the few steps to the bathroom door and stopped in front of it, glancing back at Quinn who stood with a confused expression on her face.

Rachel felt her body tremble as she touched the handle, pulling the door open slowly and stepping out into the crowded hallway. Quinn sighed when she saw the brunette tense and instantly stepped forward, muttering something about heading off campus to eat which Rachel whole-heartedly agreed with, trying to shake off the anixety she felt as she headed to the blonde's car.

"Are you going to Glee?" Quinn asked as she slid lightly into the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition, bringing her small, baby blue, toyota carola to life. Rachel froze instantly. She hadn't given it much thought since her father's had brought it up that morning.

Quinn saw the hesitation in Rachel's eyes and quickly continued. She wasn't quite sure where the sincerity she felt right now, was coming from-but she chalked it up to baby hormones and moved on. "Please come," She found herself whispering as she pulled into a small restraunt, setting her car back in park and shifting so that she now faced the girl again.

Rachel looked over at Quinn and slowly nodded her head, chewing nervously on her bottom lip as she pushed open the passenger side door and stepped onto the concrete. Quinn quickly joined her at her side and gave her a small smile.

"Have you ever been here?" Quinn asked, as she glanced up at the large 'Salad works,' sign. Rachel only nodded again as she rung her hands together, clearing her throat. Quinn let out a small sigh of relief under her breath before motioning for them to head in. Rachel trudged behind, a thousand merciless thoughts running through her head.

She didn't really know why she'd agreed to come with Quinn, or why the girl was even bothering to be nice to her-the two had hated each other since they were freshmen in high school. But Rachel was oddly grateful for the comforting arora the blond had been throwing out at her, and Rachel could slowly feel herself opening up to the girl-despite the fact she wasn't speaking. She didn't have to speak, and that's why things with Quinn were so easy. She didn't _make_ her speak, or ask too many questions, she knew when to stop pushing and just let things be and Rachel couldn't express how much she'd longed for that. Quinn was the only person she knew that wasn't pittying her or acting like she'd break.

When they'd gotten to their table and sat down, Quinn glanced at the girl-taking in her tousled, messy pony tail and tired expression with a small frown on her face. Sure, she and Rachel weren't the best of friends, or hell-friends at _all_, but despite everything, they were still team mates, and she felt for the girl who was going through so much and she hadn't even done a damn _thing_ to anyone.

Suddenly Quinn felt guilty, extremely guilty for all the years she'd spent mercifully taunting the brunette and quickly felt tears springing to her eyes. She hadn't deserved it, Quinn thought silently. Nor did she deserve what she was dealing with now. Ever since Quinn had gotten pregnant, she had began to feel what it was like for Rachel, how horrible it was to see and hear people talk and whisper about her as if she didn't matter, to push her around. When Quinn was on the Cheerio's, she hadn't needed to worry about slushie facials, for the mere fact that she was the one who was giving them-but now, with the roles reversed, she'd often find herself cursing for even starting the trend.

She quickly shook away the guilt that was plaguing her as the waitress came to their table, asking what they'd like. Quinn froze, she had forgotten that Rachel wasn't speaking to anyone. Quickly holding up her index finger to tell the waitress to wait a minute, she leaned over and whispered into Rachel's ear who had soon pointed out something on the menu. Quinn smiled, took the menu from her hands and handed it to the waitress as she told her what they wanted. The waitress nodded, giving them a small smile before telling them she'd be back with their drinks momentarily and disappearing from their view and back into the kitchen. Rachel glanced over at Quinn, licking her lips as she swallowed the lump in her throat-throwing the blond an appreciative glance.

Quinn shrugged, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "It's fine."

No it's not, Rachel thought solemnly. It's _not_ fine. Nothing is anymore.

….

The lunch continued in silence until they found their way back to the blonde's car, both unhappy about having to return to school. Quinn quickly turned to Rachel and swallowed the nervousness she'd suddenly felt before she opened her mouth. "Rachel," She paused, waiting until the brunette was looking at her. "I just...I know this might sound silly and it probably is, but I wanted to apologize."

Rachel looked at her in confusion, eyebrow arched as she pulled the hood of her sweater over her head. Quinn quickly continued. "I've taunted you since we were freshmen, and you don't deserve it. You never did and now-with everything going on, I understand first hand how cruel I was, and how cruel others can be and I'm just..." She paused, choking on a sob. "I'm so sorry."

Rachel nodded, giving her a slight smile of reassurance before Quinn nodded, sniffled and started the car. This was certainly weird, Rachel thought silently. All of this. She was grateful for the apology Quinn had thrown her way, but also knew it was unnecessary and slightly surprising. In the time she's know Quinn Fabray she's never apologized to Rachel for anything and Rachel couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't just apologizing for the taunting, but for what had happened recently as well.

….

2:30 had rolled around quicker then Rachel would've liked and as she stood outside of the music room door, she hesitated on turning around and running away. What was everyone going to say? Do? What would Mr. Schuster do now that he knew? Rachel sighed and tensed up immediately as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking back, the tenseness she'd felt quickly faded when she saw it was Quinn-motioning for them to head in but when Rachel didn't follow, Quinn stopped and turned back around.

"Rachel," She said, a hint of reassurance in her tone. "It's okay."

Sniffling, Rachel nodded and wiped away a stray tear with shaking hands before stepping into the room. Everyone had gone silent the moment she entered and she felt fear creep its way back into her body as she walked hesitantly over to Mr. Schuster and handed him a note. He nodded, before discreetely asking if she was doing any better. Rachel shrugged weakly and looked away towards the small crowd of students who sat on the chairs-waiting for her to come and join them. Mr. Schuster nodded to her and Rachel bit her lip as she found herself walking towards the rest of the Glee kids, body trembling with fear and anxiety.

She took a seat furthest away from everyone, not wanting to deal with their questions and hugged her knees to her chest, burrowing herself into her sweater. Mercedes was the first to stand up and walk towards her, despite the desperate plea in Rachel's eyes for her to just turn around and leave her alone. She watched as Mercede's crouched down in front of her, placing what was supposed to be a comforting hand over Rachel's which were wrapped tightly around her legs.

"Hey Diva." She whispered softly, throwing Rachel a small smile. Rachel said and did nothing. "I'm glad you're back. How are you feeling?" Mercede's and Rachel had never been best friends, but they were close-in fact, she was probably closest to Mercede's out of the girls. Rachel shrugged as she felt her eyes well up with tears. Mercede's sighed sadly and frowned.

"I'm here if you need anything, you know that-right?"

Rachel nodded, and watched as Mercede's flashed her another smile before taking her seat again. The rest of the Glee kids, with the exception of Quinn and Mercede's, had crowded around her rather quickly and Rachel couldn't help but feel smothered as they threw question after question at her before Puck and Finn declared a throw down on the bastard who did this to her. Rachel felt the tears she'd tried to hide back fall down her cheeks as the room quickly grew angry, threats of killing her attacker being thrown around and her quite cries soon turned into hysterical sobs as the room that was once angry and loud grew quite with fear and shock.

Mr. Schuster quickly headed towards Rachel, Quinn and Mercede's following as they directed everyone to back off. "Rachel?" Mr. Schuster's voice rang in her ears but almost immediately felt the tight, invisible band wrapping itself around her ribcage and cutting off her oxygen as she drew in gasps of air and shaking breaths followed by a loud sob that would errupt from her every now and then as she gripped onto her sweatshirt, shaking her head rapidly.

"Rachel." Mr. Schuster called again, worry evident in his voice.

"Rachel." This time the voice didn't belong to him, it belonged to Quinn and Rachel slowly found herself turning her head as she tried to look at the girl through blurry eyes. She felt someone on her arm, pulling her to her feet and gasped, but Quinn assured her that she was okay and explained she was taking her home. Rachel was barely aware of the fact she was now leaning against Quinn and Mercedes as they struggled to keep her upright and take her towards the car. Mr. Schuster followed behind, dialing her father's cell phone to inform them of what was going on. Rachel felt as if her knees were going to give out and her head was swimming, her ears ringing and she only cried harder as she slid into the passenger seat of Quinn's car for the third time that day.

The door was still open as Mr. Schuster hung up the phone and crouched down towards Rachel, placing a hand on her knee, not noticing the flinch from Rachel, as he told Quinn to take her to her house-that her father's would meet her there. Quinn nodded and Mercede's bid a small farewell to Rachel, telling her to hang in there before she shut the door and Quinn peeled out of the parking lot at high speed, hands shaking with fear as she slammed down on the gas pedal and flored the car. She didn't care about getting a ticket, about breaking the speed, she only cared about getting the heaving girl in her passenger's seat, home.

"You'll be okay, Rach." The words had fallen from Quinn's lips as she pulled into the driveway in record time, finding that her father's car wasn't there yet. Quinn sighed, trying to figure out how she would get the hysterical brunette into her house by herself. Slowly pulling herself out of the car, she headed around to the passenger's side and opened the door, leaning as best as her pregnant stomach would allow to reach and grab the brunette who was still gasping for breath as Rachel slid an arm around the blond.

Closing the door to her car behind her, Quinn instructed Rachel to hand her the house key and Rachel fumbled quite a bit through her bag before moments later, pulling it out and passing it off to the blond. "You'll be okay," Quinn repeated as she stuffed the key into the lock and turned it, popping the door to Rachel's house open sufficently before stepping in with Rachel still hanging against her.

"Quinn," Rachel found herself gasping out, eyes squeezing shut from the pain errupting through her small form. "C-Ca-Can't br-brea-breathe." Quinn's eyes went wide as she slowly led Rachel to the couch in the living room, setting her on the couch and then sitting down beside her.

"Rachel, look at me." Her eyes slowly, as if at a snail's pace, glanced over at Quinn and she shuddered when the blond rested her hands on her shoulders. "You're going to be fine, okay? Just breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth, slowly."

Rachel shook her head, tears dripping like faucets from her eyes. "C-Can't." She managed, throat aching from having been silent for so long.

"Yes, you can. Just try it with me, alright?" Rachel sniffled and slowly inhaled a shaking breath, before letting it back out-slowly. She repeated the action a few more times as Quinn threw out a chorus of 'Good job's,' to her and Rachel began to calm-the pain subsiding until all she felt was pure exhaustion.

"Rachel," Quinn spoke, voice soft. "Why are you talking to me? I mean, why me and not anyone else? I don't get it." Rachel shrugged, her eyes heavy as she leaned back against the pillow. Quinn sighed in defeat but nodded her head despite it, standing up and throwing a blanket that was thrown over the couch, on top of Rachel.

"Get some sleep," She concluded. "I'll be here when you wake up and your fathers are on the way."

"Mom." She whispered, voice cracking. Quinn arched her eyebrow in confusion for a moment before Rachel continued, voice weak and raspy. "I wa-want m-my mom."

Quinn swallowed, running a hand through her hair before reassuring Rachel that she'd call her mother for her. Rachel nodded once more before slipping off into a deep sleep and Quinn fell back against the chair, exhaustion also running through her veins, as she felt her face crumble and a small sob escape her lips. She isn't sure if she's ever been so afraid in her life as she'd been only moments ago(not counting when she had found out she was pregnant) and ran a hand through her hair, tensing at the sound of Rachel's, father's voices filling the room.

She'd never met Rachel's fathers, but she's about 99 percent sure that Rachel had informed them of the taunting she'd endured for so long from the blond who now sat in her living room. As her father's entered, Quinn swallowed nervously and stood up, wiping her hands on her dress.

"I'm Quinn. Quinn Fabray, uh...Rachel's calmed down a lot, and she's sleeping right now. But she uhm, she wanted me to tell you that she wants her mother." The words fell out rather fast and she isn't sure if she had even managed to make one bit of sense, but as she watches the mens heads bob up and down, she knows she has.

"I'm Hiram," The older, african american man says, holding out his hand to the girl standing in his living room. Quinn shakes it hesitantly before turning towards the other man, who has introduced himself as Leroy, and shakes his hand as well.

"Thank you for bringing our daughter home and calming her down. I don't know how you did it, but thank you." Leroy whispered to the young girl who stood before him. Quinn nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Hiram had disappeared, and Quinn was assuming he was now on the phone with Rachel's mother.

"Of course," Quinn choked out. "I uh...should get going, just tell Rachel that if she needs me she can call." Leroy watched as the girl quickly grabbed her car keys off the coffee table in the living room before heading towards the door and he spoke up immediately.

"If you'd like to stay you may, I'm sure Rachel would be pleased that you were here when she woke up."

Quinn turned back to the man and bit her lip nervously, nodding her head as she headed back towards the chair she'd been sitting in before.

"Okay," She whispered in disbelief. "Th-Thank you."

Leroy nodded, and then turned his attention back to Hiram who had now reentered the room, phone in his hand. "Shelby's on her way." He spoke softly, glancing at his husband and then at the blond in the chair. Leroy flashed him a look that said he'd explain later and Hiram only nodded before glancing at his sleeping daughter on the couch with a small sigh.

As Quinn leaned back in the chair, eyes still locked on Rachel, she frowned.

This was all just one, big mess.


	7. Part VII

**Author's Note: **Oh sweet lord do I have a lot to tell you all! First off, I saw the lovely Idina Menzel in concert on the seventeenth of july at wolf-trap in Washington DC and let me say this-that woman is pure, fucking perfection. She wore possibly the most gorgeous blue gown I'd ever seen in my lifetime, and her vocal range was just _insane_. I definitely would do it over in a heartbeat if I could. Secondly, thank you all very much for being so patient. I've managed to get my laptop fixed(thank gosh) so the update you're waiting anxiously for has finally arrived. And lastly, to Marlisa-Kristine, I just wanted to say a big thank you to the interview you sent me about Idina! I loved it times a thousand. I was laughing through a good majority of it, especially when she was talking about Lea because all I could think of was 'Rent,' and the fact that in another interview Idina had been talking about the possibility of being Lea's lesbian lover. Hah. So again, thank you all and I sincerely hope you enjoy this next chapter. Song credit goes to Saftey suit, for their song 'Stay.' This is not by _any_ means, the last chapter-it's far from it really, I just wanted to fit the song in there somewhere because it's been stuck in my head for weeks now. Hahaha.

….

Shelby had left Carmel High that afternoon with one thought on her mind, one person-Rachel, so it was purely conicidental when Leroy Barry calls to tell her that Rachel wants, no _needs_ her mother and everything spirals from there. Shelby cannot remember whether she's made complete stops, or if she ran through a red light or two, because she's purely focused on reaching her daughter, on making sure she's alright but she can tell by the looks of things when Leroy leads her into the living room where Rachel has taken up residence on the couch that things are definitely _far_ from okay. There is a blond girl who has fallen asleep on the chair across from where her daughter was sleeping on the couch, which automatically drew confusion out of her as Shelby found herself turning towards Leroy and Hiram who stood behind the couch with their arms crossed over their chest and stoic expressions on their faces.

"That's Quinn, the girl that brought Rachel home. She managed to calm Rachel down after she had a panic attack at Glee practice." Hiram spoke, voice low and shaky. Shelby nodded her head before moving in front of her daughter and crouching down to her eye-level, shaking her lightly. Rachel stirred a moment before her eyes slowly but surely began to open up and she jumped slightly at the close proximity between her and her mother who had a sympathetic smile on her face.

Rachel sighed softly and sat up, pulling her legs to her chest as she watched her mother take a seat beside her. Her eyes instantly drifted towards the blond who had brought her home and a small, faint smile grazed Rachel's face. She wasn't entirely sure why, or even _how_ but she was feeling something slightly akin to a friendship forming between the two and she couldn't deny that she liked it. Quinn had protected her today, taken her away from the madness, she made her _forget_ for awhile. Quinn was the first person to actually _treat_ her like a person instead of a china doll who was warranted to break at any second and to tell the truth, Rachel needed that. She didn't want people walking on egg shells around her, constantly unsure if they should or should not talk to her for fear of what may happen. Sure, she understood their concern and worry, but did that mean Rachel liked it? Not one bit.

As she continued to study the sleeping blond across from her, she found a question forming inside of her brain. If she didn't want people treating her like she would break, why did Rachel ask for her mother then? Rachel couldn't help but feel a slight tug at her heart, unsure of whether it was appreciation or adoration for the fact that Quinn had kept her promise and stayed with her, and the fact that she on top of everything else that had happened, got her mother here. Rachel swallowed the lump forming in her throat and slowly turned her attention back to her mother, staring at her with a blank expression on her face. Her mother sat beside her, waiting patiently as if her daughter would suddenly just start speaking, giving her an explination as to why she was needed, but Rachel remained silent until she slowly shifted towards her mother and dropped her head on her shoulder, the first ounce of contact that _she_ had insinuated.

"Rachel, sweetie-are you alright?" Rachel licked her lips, glancing up at her mother once more before nodding her head lowly and dropping her head back onto the older woman's shoulder. Shelby cautiously wrapped her arms around her daughter's waist and kissed her temple, feeling a slight accomplishment when Rachel didn't flinch.

But her accomplishment turned to pure shock when she heard soft, barely audible, hoarse words fall from her daughter's lips.

"No," She croaked. "But I'm getting there. Will you stay for awhile?"

Tears brimmed at the corners of Shelby's eyes and she found herself nodding, speechless, before she tightened her hold just ever so slightly on her daughter and letting the tears trickle down her cheeks. She no longer cared about being tough, no longer cared about the hard, 'I don't give a shit about you or what you think of me,' facade` she held, no longer cared that she had an audience staring at her in pure surprise, the only thing she felt at that moment was pure happiness and elation. She'd never thought she'd be able to miss her daughter's voice so much, surely not to the point she was in pure hysterics, but she did. Rachel smiled weakly into her mother's hair, inhaling the sweet scent she held and let her eyes close again.

This was the first time Rachel had managed to feel something other then fear and anxiety, what she felt now was just what she'd been longing for since the attack happened. Saftey. She wasn't entirely sure how long it would last, or if it was just a one-time thing before the demons returned to haunt her, but she could honestly say that for right now, she felt safe. She glanced over at her father's who stood side by side behind the couch, eyes hopeful and gave them both a small smile before mouthing a small 'thank you,' to them to which _their_ eyes then teared up which caused a small laugh to elicit Rachel's throat, a sound that not only shocked her, scared her. She was almost sure she'd forgotten how to speak, let alone laugh-until today, until Quinn, until her mother, until her father's, until the four people that currently meant so much to her were all in the same room and the only thing she felt was safe.

_And I'll be here in the morning if you say stay, if you say stay to me._


	8. Part VIII

**Author's Note: **Who's excited at the prospect, which is more of a reality now then a prospect, of Idina coming back for Glee's second season? I know I am! And for those of you asking for the interview links, I will send them to you as soon as I can get a hold of them again, since it's becoming more and more difficult by the minute to find them. Also, word of warning-I've been feeling horribly dyslexic lately when it comes to typing up my chapters and have found I'm actually spelling things backwards(how I manage to do that, I have no idea but it probably doesn't help that my vision sucks as it is) so if there are any mistakes in this chapter or any of the coming ones, well...then you'll know why. Hahah. Oh and I promise, after this I'll shut up-but I may or may not be putting up a Faberry(either one-shot or multi-chapter) here soon, depending on if I can find a decent plot line to use. If anyone has any ideas, requests, throw them at me in a message or review and I'll take it into consideration. The reactions of the Glee members over Rachel's attack will appear soon, if not in this chapter then in the next but they as I've said before, will be breif.

….

Everyone knew it wouldn't last, even Rachel herself, knew that it wouldn't last. As the nightmares returned to the front of her mind, she found herself closing back up which instantly meant closing her mouth again as well. Quinn had visited often since that night she had brought her home, a week ago, and had took a liking to the normally annoying brunette. She wasn't sure when it happened, or even _how_, but now she couldn't imagine it being any different. She hated to say it, but she's almost glad this happened-because in a way, it's as if it had broughten her closer to her glee-mate.

But as soon as that thought had crossed her mind, as soon as she actually took a moment to realize what she'd just brought into her mind, she pushed it back out, frowning. She was happy she and Rachel were no longer enemies, and were now forming something slightly akin to friendship(or in Rachel's case, affection) but Quinn was _definitely_ not happy about Rachel being attacked. Not happy in the least. In fact, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got-and she knew, as well as Rachel, that it was only a matter of time before one of the two girls lost it completely.

Rachel on the other hand, was still battling with several internal and external demons, that she just wished would go away. Her mother had began once again, to appear more in her life, something she was extremely grateful for, and her father's unlike what she'd expected, had yet to ask questions. The panic attacks had lessened at least enough to where she was able to sleep at night(well, only if Quinn or her mother were there beside her) and she was beginning to get just a hint of color back into her cheeks, as well as a slight appetite.

She ate now, but not much more then before, when she hadn't been eating at all. She still went through a considerable amount of 'bad periods,' where she would tend to daze out and relive that night again, whether asleep or awake, but she found there were a _few_ 'good periods' as well-for instance when she was with Quinn. Anytime she was with Quinn really, was considered a good period because Quinn made her forget, Quinn didn't treat her as a china doll about to break, Quinn was just Quinn, she treated Rachel normal and that's all Rachel wanted from her.

….

Mercedes was never first to show up for Glee practice, but she had been hoping to run into Rachel, although she knew at this point it was almost impossible she'd find the young diva in here looking over sheet music as she used too while waiting for the rest(including Mercedes herself) to enter the room. A small, defeated sigh left her lips as she found no brunette, in fact the only person she found was Mr. Shuster who was sitting on a stool beside the piano looking at a stack of papers.

She took notice to his presence when he looked up and locked eyes with her while she absentmindedly dropped her bag in a chair, and she gave him a weak smile, one that did not fully reach her eyes. She wasn't entirely sure what she had planned to say to the brunette on the off chance she had found her here early, but she did want to say _something._ Instead, she found herself rambling to Mr. Shue, asking questions and adding in her own thoughts about the attack and how she thought it was volitile and disgusting and made her stomach churn.

Mr. Shuster didn't disagree to that, in fact putting in his own two cents and telling her about the interaction with Shelby the night of the attack. He knew he shouldn't have been telling her this, for the sake of Shelby and Rachel's privacy but the words had fallen from his mouth before he could even think to stop them and by the time he was finished(after describing the paleness in Rachel and the light that had been sucked out of her), Mercedes jaw was nearly on the ground.

She quickly picked it up however, when she noticed the remaining Glee members, including the disheveled and overexhausted brunette enter the room, with Quinn Fabray in tow. Mercedes turned towards the pair as everyone else settled into their seats and swallowed the lump forming in her throat as she glanced over Rachel's complextion. Her face was pale, the bags under her eyes possibly darker then they'd ever been and her body trembling while Quinn spoke to her off to the side in hushed tones. No longer able to take the waging war that was going on in her head on whether or not to go over and speak with the brunette, she pushed it aside and stalked over anyway-clearing her throat to announce her presence.

While Quinn's head seemed to snap around at her presence, Rachel's seemed to slowly turn until after what had felt like an eternity to Mercedes, she had faced her. "Hey Rach, Quinn." She mumbled, acknowledging the two before turning towards the brunette. Rachel chewed nervously on her lip and nodded her head slowly, eyes fluttering shut for a moment before she slowly peeled them back open. Mercedes noticed that it seemed to take Rachel almost all of her energy(what little she had left) just to nod her head. She quickly pushed that thought out of her mind and regained composure before speaking again.

"How are you feeling?" She continued, voice cautious.

A mere shrug of the shoulders was all Mercedes got in response and before she could open her mouth to speak again, Mr. Shue had asked for them to take their seats so they could begin today. As per usual, Rachel and Quinn had chosen the seats in the back, farthest away from any human contact as possible. Quinn had voluntarily given her sweater to a still trembling Rachel before grasping her hand.

She glanced down when she noticed how cold it was, and then slowly raised her eyes to seek out the brunette's who were dull and almost lifeless. Quinn bit her lip and gave the girl a sheepish smile before Rachel mouthed her a small 'thanks,' as she rested her head on the blonde's shoulder, fighting to keep her eyes open as Mr. Shuster spoke. She was found unsuccessful when they promptly closed not a second later and the soft breathing was heard by Quinn who glanced over at her and frowned. Lately Rachel had been getting little to no sleep, on the nights she and her mother were not there and it was definitely beginning to take it's toll.

Sighing softly under her breath, Quinn turned her attention back to the front of the room where Puck was chosen to start on the assignment for the week. Quinn had spent most of her time caring for Rachel and making sure the girl wasn't going to have another psychotic break that she'd completely neglected Glee and therefore had no idea what was truly going on, but in the same moment, she realized she didn't care because all that she cared about, all that she cared _for_ was sitting right beside her, sleeping peacefully on her shoulder-and that scared the living _shit_ out of her because Quinn Fabray could not like Rachel, let alone be _falling _for her.

At least that's what she used to think, but as time went by she realized that was no longer the case and that maybe, all Rachel needed was to love and be loved. Maybe it would help her, maybe not-Quinn wasn't entirely sure, but for Rachel's sake, she was willing to try.

For Rachel's sake, she _needed_ to.


	9. Part IX

**Author's Note: **Wow, 83 reviews? Really? That's just insane! Haha. Any spelling mistakes(like the one in the last chapter, thanks to whoever pointed that out) are all mine and mine alone. Thank you tremors(shaking of the hands/body due to low blood sugar.) Well, I think that's all I needed to say. Oh and the reactions from the Glee members are breif. Now I'm only going over a few glee members, the ones that play major roles, well for the most part-minus Mercedes and Quinn because we've already seen their reactions. So yeah, enjoy.

….

Never in his life did Kurt Hummel feel bad for Rachel Barry, nor did he expect himself too-until he heard about the attack. He remembers that night vividly, he'd been lying in bed asleep when the phone on his desk started vibrating. With a few choice words and a stumble or two, he managed to grasp it in his hands, read it once, twice, three times and then process it and just like that, he felt his entire annoyance and semi-hatred for the young girl fly out the window. Now, all he wanted to do was rip apart the disgusting dirtbag who did this to her-and he planned too. Maybe not then and there, but eventually.

….

When Puck got the text message, he had been playing video games with Finn. Don't ask him how they managed to patch things up, because he honestly had no clue-but the moment his eyes read the words, the controller dropped from his right hand to the ground and his entire body went numb. Finn had kept asking what was wrong until he gently grasped the phone from his hands and read it for himself. He too, was pale as a ghost, outraged and shaking. He too, felt the same way Puck did-like the wanted to kill the bastard who did this to her, while at the same time, protect her from anything and everything else.

….

Santanna and Brittany had been cuddling(not that Santana Lopez would _ever_ admit to cuddling up to well, _anybody_), in Sanatana's bed when her phone lit up on the end table. "Can you grab that for me B?" A rather zoned out Brittany nodded her head and slowly passed the phone to Santanna who thank her with a small peck on the lips before returning her eyes to the small screen. Her eyes went wide almost immediately causing Brittany to glance over her shoulder and read the text as well.

"Rachel was attacked?" Brittany whispers, gathering Santanna's attention almost immediately. A somber, yet shocked tone escapes Santanna who instantly curls Brittany tighter into her small frame.

"Yeah B, she was."

"By who?"

"I don't know, but once I find out-I'll kill him." She hisses angrily, causing Brittany to flinch. When Santanna takes notice, she swallows the unfamiliar lump forming in her throat and apologizes to Brittany who shrugs it off before the pair goes back to cuddling into each other, both grateful that it wasn't them that it had happened too.

….

Tina is with Artie at his house, working on homework when Tina pulls out her phone to check the time. However what she finds is nothing even remotely relevant to the time, instead-it's a text message that is about to give her and Artie the biggest shock of their lives.

"Artie," She croaks once she has read the message. "C'mere and read this."

"Christ." He mutters after he has finished reading the mass text that Quinn has sent out, informing them about what she had saw on the television. Tina turns to him, bottom lip trembling before she buries her head in his shoulder and cries softly.

Tina and Rachel may have not been particularly close, but she definitely did consider the diva a friend and seeing that text had just felt like a punch to the stomach-and to her, it was. To Artie, to Artie it was like reliving his car crash over again, except it was from a different perspective and unfortunately(ha, he definitely never thought he'd say _that_) this _wasn't_ a car accident. To him, this was ten times worse.

….

When Quinn brings Rachel's sleepy form home from Glee practice that day and sets her carefully in her bed with the help of Rachel's fathers(she can't help but wonder why Shelby wasn't there yet), she lets a small sigh escape her. When her father's leave the room after a word of thanks, she takes her seat on the bed beside Rachel and lightly strokes her hair until the trembling from the brunette has ceased and she is once more breathing peacefully.

She doesn't mind having to stay until Rachel is asleep, or sometimes even _after_ she is asleep because as strange as it would've been to admit it a few mere months ago, it's not strange to admit now-she enjoys the brunette's company whether she's silent(which is happening more often as of late) or chatting up a storm. She can't help it. There is something about the brunette that entices her, as horrible as that sounds, however at the same time, there is something about her that puts her on the edge of her seat, something that terrifies her to her core. She just wished she knew what that something was.

….

When Rachel awakes from her slumber, she finds herself in her bed with a sleeping blond beside her. A faint smile grazes her face as she brushes brunette curls out of her eyes. Sitting up slightly, she glances at the clock on the nightstand. Five fifteen. She'd been asleep since Glee had begun at around 3, only waking up to walk to Quinn's car once it had ended, yet she still feels as if she hasn't slept at all.

Quinn feels a slight movement and instantly stirs, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light once they've opened. She finds Rachel staring at her with a blank expression and Quinn fears for a moment that Rachel is having another panic attack, until she clears her throat the Rachel blinks-as if just noticing Quinn had woken up.

"How was your nap?" Quinn asks, she too, sitting up. Rachel chews on her lip for a moment, before frowning and Quinn knows what she means. It's Rachel's silent way of saying that she's exhausted and felt as if she hasn't slept in months, despite the fact she'd slept for well over a few hours.

Quinn frowns at this as well and motions to her stomach before speaking again. "Did you want anything to eat?" Rachel sighs softly and shakes her head, drawing her knees to her chest before motioning to her cell phone. Quinn grabs it off the end table, which sat beside her alarm clock, and watches as Rachel scrolls through the contacts-stopping at her mother's name.

"You want her to come over?" Quinn isn't quite sure when or how she's managed to read Rachel so well now, and in fact it kind of scares her, but when she sees Rachel nod her head, everything flies out the window until she's sending a quick text to Shelby from Rachel's phone saying that Rachel wants her there.

She waits a moment for a text back, but gets nothing and sighs under her breath. Handing the phone back to Rachel, she swallows the lump of fear in her throat and the knot in the pit of her stomach that is telling her something isn't right.

But then again, were things _ever_ right?


	10. Part X

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, I was on vacation and my friend's internet router wasn't working so I couldn't get online to post it. Then, I kept putting this off because I couldn't figure out how to go about it-I had the idea in my head, but I couldn't find the right words to type up. Thank you all for the wonderful response to the last chapter though, I'm glad so many of you liked it. Also, did you all think that I would _seriously_ hurt Shelby? I love her! I couldn't do that, haha. At least not physically anyway. ;) Oh, and this chapter is relatively short because I have a horrible case of writer's block and I still fucking hate the outcome of this. It's basically just words on paper(or computer if you want to be technical about it.)

….

Shelby was never one to let down her walls, her defenses, but when it came to Rachel, she didn't care. However, she felt as if all the emotions she'd kept bottled in for so long were starting to take it's toll on her. As the text message from Rachel's cell phone flashed across her screen she felt as if her heart had took a dive into her stomach. She wasn't really sure what it was that kept her from replying, from jumping in her car and heading to her daughter's rescue(whatever that may be), but something did-and she felt as if that _something_ was slowly eating her alive.

….

Rachel looked anxiously up at Quinn who did her ebst to give the brunette a reassuring smile when in all actuality, she was feeling the same way Rachel was at that moment. Anxious and terrified. Although, one thought crossed through her mind-where the hell was Shelby and why wasn't she answering?

….

The glass laid empty and forgotten on her bedside table as Shelby sat with her knees drawn to her chest, the covers of her duve nearly engulfing her. Her eyes stared mercilessly at the text message from her daughter as she chewed on her bottom lip, unshed tears forming a cloud behind her eyes. Her emotions were raging like a forest fire inside of her that just wouldn't die, and Shelby was beginning to feel the reprocussions of it. Her eyes grew heavy as she battled with the demons inside of her head to stay away, but the demons were slowly winning. With one last quick glance, she let her phone drop from her hand onto the carpet with a soft thud and her eyes gently closed as she was lulled into a deep, dreamless sleep.

….

Rachel let out a defeated sigh as she glanced over at Quinn who's features held a sympathetic glance. She knew what Quinn was saying without her really even having to _say_ anything, that's the good thing about being silent for so long, the brunette thought to herself. She was beginning to read people a lot more easily then she could before and Quinn, well Quinn was on the top of that list.

She knew that her mother wasn't showing up tonight, seeing as it was already going on ten in the evening. She isn't quite sure when or where the time had passed and gone, but Rachel was beginning to grow sleepy again, her eyes heavy and her mind shutting down. Swallowing the lump of despair in her throat, she pushed her body back down onto the bed so she could rest her head on the pillow as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Quinn shook her head, which silently told Rachel to stop fighting and get some sleep, and Rachel smiled gratefully before the world was dark and the last thing she saw was Quinn's face.

….

The next morning came to early for Rachel's liking and with the shrill beep of her alarm clock alerting her and jolting her awake she felt the fear of the events from the night she was attacked, beginning to overtake her again. Forcing herself into a seated position, she noticed the spot beside her was empty and assumed that the blond had left shortly after she had fallen asleep and Rachel sighed immediately as she took notice to that. She hated waking up alone, it's when the monsters in her head terrorized her the most. They managed to calm down for the most part when she was surrounded by her mother or Quinn, but when it was just she and her fathers in the house, or she and any other man for instance-they came at her full force and she could do nothing to stop them.

Leaning over, she let her hand slam down on the 'off' button on her alarm clock and soon found she was met with complete and utter silence that was almost eye widening. Slowly kicking her legs over the bed, her feet met soft carpet as she trudged towards her bathroom, starting the shower and waiting a moment to heat up as she ran through the messages in her cell phone, finding nothing new from her mother, but one from Quinn alerting her that in fact, she _had_ left after Rachel had fallen asleep.

Sighing, she set her phone aside and stepped in the shower-getting ready for another long day as she scrubbed away the disgust and hurt and fear she felt until she was bruised, bleeding and in a heap on the shower floor sobbing-the only sound, the _first_ sound she's made in what seems to be weeks and may just have been.

She felt as if she was losing control of everything in her life, including the ones she loved most, and she wasn't sure what the fuck to do about it anymore. But she knew one thing, she was going to find Shelby today if it's the last damn thing she did.


	11. Part XI

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, major's writer's block and also, the fact that I have so many damn ideas running through my head for so many stories that I feel the need to post at once and it's just all really ugly. Anyway, ignore this pointless rant and enjoy the chapter (even though it's mostly pointless drabble because I've completely forgotten what story I'm writing for here.) Whoo! Also, sorry for the short length-I'm a little buzzed and haven't slept in about two days, so I can't really function well right now.

….

"Rachel? What are you doing here?"

It's funny really, because in all honesty-Rachel wasn't quite sure either. She'd wanted her mother last night, and when she hadn't answered her she grew concern-but that concern immediately dissipated into anger when she realized her mother wasn't hurt or dead on the side of the fucking road like expected, oh no-she was completely fine.

Crossing her arms possessively over her chest, Rachel huffed and quickly looked away. Shelby, taking the hint that her daughter was upset, quickly ushered her inside-leading the two into the living room before she spoke again.

"Rachel, sweetie-why aren't you in school?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Rachel looked down at her hands, sniffling. Tears of anger built up in the corners of her eyes and trailed down her face. Noticing the pen and pad of paper beside her, she quickly grabbed it and started writing before shoving it in the face of the older brunette.

_I was looking for you! You didn't respond to me last night so I got worried and thought something happened! Now I see you're fine, you just couldn't be bothered._

"Rachel, that's not true! I just…I'm dealing with my own demons too, you know?"

Scoffing, Rachel rolled her eyes before writing something else down.

_And what 'demons' could those be mom? Certainly not the ones that I'm dealing with! Or the ones that won't leave me the hell alone!_

Sighing in defeat, Shelby shook her head and grabbed her daughter's shoulders firmly, but not so much that she would hurt her. Rachel immediately locked eyes with hers, waiting for the blow she'd be receiving from her mother-however, it never came.

Instead, the words were soft and full of regret and guilt, along with a hint of exhaustion and sadness in them. "Honey, I'm sorry-I truly am. You're right, I should've at least called or sent you a text but I just…this isn't easy for me either, Rachel. Seeing you like _this_ is _killing_ me! Knowing that I can't do anything about it either isn't making matters easier!"

Nodding, Rachel bit down on her bottom lip, before drawing her knees to her chest. Her mother had quickly let go of her shoulders when she had finished her small speech and was now curled beside her with her legs tucked underneath her small frame.

"How about this?" She piped up, causing Rachel to glance back up at her mother. "How about I call your father's and the school, let them know you're taking the day off-we can stay in and watch a movie, your choice. Sound good to you?"

Sniffling, Rachel wiped at her eyes, the ghost of a smile falling upon her face as she nodded her head lightly. It seemed like Shelby was beginning to get a handle on this parenting thing, however-no good thing lasts forever.


	12. Part XII

**Author's Note: **I know, I know-it's been forever and a day since my last update and for that I apologize but I'd been swarmed with school and work and my personal life, that and I haven't really had any ideas of where to go from my last chapter. However, I'm just going to jump ahead a few weeks, so that I can actually get this update posted once and for all. Thank you all for being so patient with me and I promise updates will become quicker now.

* * *

It was strange to believe all of the things she'd forgotten, about herself, about her mother, about her friends. It seemed as if time slipped away for her, and her memory was wiped clean. She could only see pieces and fragments of the girl she used to be, before the attack, but that too, was slowly slipping away-causing her to shrink further and further into herself. She was still silent, still battling with the demons in her head, still oh _so_ angry, and still somehow managing to maintain a friendship with the pregnant haired blond girl whom she'd grown increasingly fond of over the past few weeks. However, she still couldn't help but feel some form of resentment towards her mother. She had, after all, ignored her daughter, but then again, Rachel thinks to herself-she had a good reason. Well, not a _good_ one, per say, but a _valid_ one.

It was Friday again, which meant she had the weekend to attempt any form of relaxation she wouldn't get during the week, as well as spending more time catching up on sleep. Or, at least she was going to try to. She still suffered from the night terrors and the panic attacks, but they'd begun to lessen at least a little bit-that is, until earlier that morning when the fear found its way back inside of her and she sprang up out of her bed. Her body shook and her heart pounded to the point she was sure it would jump out of her chest. It took her a few moments to come back to reality and take in her surroundings but once she did, her face crumbled, her chest heaved and all she could do was fall back on her pillow as silent tears poured from her eyes.

But she had moved on from that, at least for the time being and was now currently seated in the passenger side of Quinn's red convertible-soft music emitting from the radio, the windows down and a nice breeze blowing. She was at peace, her eyes closed as she rested her head back against the seat, eyes focused upward on the sky through the open sun roof. Quinn had yet to say a single word since they'd left McKinley, both opting for music and their thoughts instead.

It was broken however as they pulled into the driveway of Shelby's house and shut off the car, sitting for a few moments to soak in the moment. Quinn's soft voice is what breaks Rachel out of her catatonic stupor and she turns to face the blond with renewed concern and confusion.

"I know what it's like for you Rachel." Her voice is hushed, no hint of teasing or anger evident, just hushed and sad. "It may seem silly, and it probably is-but I do know what it's like. To want something so bad and know you can't have it, to constantly fear for your life and the life of those around you. To be so god damn _angry_ that you just want to spit. To hurt so much that," She pauses, her voice breaking as a lone tears travels its way down her cheek. "That you can't even stand to look at yourself in the mirror, the constant feeling of shame and guilt overpowering you. I know Rachel, and so does your mom. Hell, everyone knows Rachel because everyone's felt that way at some time or another, everyone's been through it. But this, what _you're_ going through at this very moment, is almost unfathomable. I've never been…" She pauses again, searching for the right word and also to make sure she still even has Rachel's attention. "I've never been _lost_ though, not completely anyway. I've always been able to find my way back but with you, I'm afraid-I'm _terrified_ that you'll be lost forever and won't ever find your way back. I want you back Rachel, I want the loud mouthed, over the top, diva antics and all Rachel Barry back. So does your mom and your dad's and your friends, but we all know it's hard. We all know it will take a while and we respect that, and we'll wait. We'll wait however long it takes because Rachel, you're special. You're _so_ special, and it may not seem that way to you, but god-if anyone was going to make it out of the po dunk town, it'd be you. It _will_ be you." When Quinn has finished her long winded speech she looks at the brunette, tears cascading down Rachel's pale, sickly face as she digs her fingernails into the leather material of the passenger seat. Quinn waits, unsure if she had said something wrong, miss-stepped somewhere until finally she sees Rachel leaning towards her, arms out.

'Hug?' She mouths silently, pulling Quinn into a warm embrace before she has a chance to throw out an answer. Quinn nestles her head into Rachel's shoulder and rubs her back in soothing circles, content to just stay this way until a tapping on the window ushers them apart and they see a sadly smiling Shelby standing just outside of Quinn's car door.

"Are you two planning on coming in?" She asks, teasingly. "You've been out here for twenty minutes."

Quinn blushes noticeably and nods her head before sending a quick glance over at Rachel who has already taken off her seatbelt and launched herself into her mother's arms. Quinn slowly slides out of the car and stands back for a moment, watching the interaction with a small smile on her face. Shelby's face is contorted in anguish and love for her daughter, her eyes squeezed shut as she nuzzles her face into Rachel's hair while Rachel audibly sobs with happiness as she grips onto Shelby's shirt, clinging fearfully to it, afraid that if she lets go she'll lose her mother once again.

When the two pull away, Shelby gestures Rachel and Quinn inside of the house, both happily trailing behind. Rachel had insisted she stay with Shelby for the weekend, not wanting to be terrorized by the nightmares plaguing her. At least not alone, she needed comfort, she needed her mother. Rachel loves her fathers, she does, but they're also _men_ she realizes and she still hasn't found herself comfortable enough to be around men yet. At least not alone, not after the attack. It's only been a matter of weeks, but to Rachel it feels like an entire eternity has passed, yet she's still fearful, still so _broken_.

As the three women take a seat on the couch, Rachel sinks back into her mother's touch, eyes closing in content. Shelby strokes her daughter's hair lovingly as she looks at Quinn, silently observing her a moment before speaking.

"How is school going for you?" Shelby finds herself asking as she drapes a blanket over Rachel who has now fallen fast asleep.

"It's good," Quinn answers with a small smile. "I've spent most of it making sure Rachel is alright, but my grades are still good and glee club's been pretty fun. We're attempting to work on a song to sing for Rachel on her birthday, but we're all so stubborn and hard headed and can't pick a song to agree on." She adds with a laugh. Shelby smiles softly, pure admiration for the blond showing on her features as well as appreciation for taking care of her daughter.

"Well, I'm sure whatever you all choose, Rachel will love it." She pauses for a moment and shifts her weight slightly before continuing, her face and tone taking on a more serious matter. "I just wanted to thank you, for all that you've been doing for Rachel. I know she appreciates it, and you so much and I couldn't imagine anyone else aside from her fathers or I, caring for her like you do. You know how to calm her down, you know what she's feeling and thinking most of the time, before even she does herself, and most importantly, you make her smile. She's happy with you, and that's the only thing I could ever want from her." Quinn nods, a small smile grazing her face as Shelby leans down and plants a feather-light kiss on her daughter's head before garnering her attention back to the blond seated across from her.

Rachel stirs lightly for a moment and the both women tense, but it evaporates quickly when the young brunette shows no signs of waking up from her slumber. "It's no problem Shelby," Quinn says softly, the smile never having left her face. "I like Rachel and knowing that I can make her happy, or that she's just happy in general is all that I want from her, just as much as you want it. I don't care if I never get out of Lima, as long as I see Rachel is okay and happy and healthy, then that's all I could ever ask for."

Shelby nods her head understandingly as she settles back into the couch, the two sitting in comfortable silence for a few moments before Rachel whimpers slightly and without warning, begins to thrash around. Quinn leaps up from her seat, seeing the beads of sweat forming quickly on Rachel and knows immediately what's happening.

"It's a night terror," Quinn fumbles out, running her hand lightly over Rachel's for head a few times as she whispers to the girl in hushed tones. "It's me, Rach. It's Quinn, you're safe. You're at Shelby's, I promise you no one's going to hurt you again, it's okay. It's okay."

Rachel's eyes flutter softly, as if she'd just be waking up and in a way, she is, although her eyes have been open for the past five minutes of her thrashing and whimpering around in her mother's lap. 'Quinn?' She mouths, reaching groggily for the blonde's hand. Quinn smiles and trails a finger lightly down the brunette's cheek as she nods.

"Yeah Rach, it's me. You're okay, you're safe now."

Nodding, Rachel slowly sits up and Quinn backs away, turning to look at an alarmed Shelby. She feels for the woman, Shelby has never experienced Rachel's night terror. Night_mares_ yes, but not a night terror, and especially not one that could've been much more violent than it was.

Leaning over and taking Shelby's hand in her own, Quinn squeezes it softly, letting her know that it was alright and that once upon a time, she'd been as disheveled and confused as Shelby is right now. Shelby smiles lightly and lets out a weak, sad sigh before slowly standing up.

"I'm just going to head into the kitchen and make everyone some tea, does that sound good?" She asks her voice uncharacteristically cheery and Quinn knows as she and Rachel are nodding their heads, that it's all an act. Shelby nods firmly and then swiftly disappears on her heel, venturing into the kitchen. At the sound of silence, Quinn turns to Rachel and grasps her hands.

"Are you going to be alright in here for a few moments while I go in and help your mom with the tea?" She asks, searching Rachel's eyes for any trace of fear or uncertainty she may still have after her night terror. She finds nothing.

Rachel nods her head as she snuggles back into the blanket Shelby had draped over her and Quinn flashes her one last smile before heading towards the kitchen. She knows Shelby's house like the back of her hand now, as weird as that may sound. But in her defense, it's just because she'd been here many times before with Rachel. The same goes for the Berry men. Stepping into the kitchen, she stands in the doorway for a moment, silently observing the older woman whose arms are out in front of her, hands gripping the counter top, shoulders forward in a defeated stance. She swears she hears a sniffle but Quinn could easily pass it off as her mind playing a trick on her. She steps forward and the floor creaks as Shelby whips around, eyes bloodshot, face holding the features of a woman so defeated and so hurt that Quinn cannot even wrap her head around it as she continues to take baby steps forward until she's unconsciously pulled the older woman into her arms, like Shelby had done earlier with her daughter. Quinn rubs her back as Shelby crumbles, heart wrenching sobs muffled by the blonde's shoulder as she struggles to stay standing. But Shelby's knees give out and the weight proves to be much too strong on Quinn and she slowly lowers them to the ground, refusing to let go of Shelby.

Irony hits her as she holds the older, sobbing brunette in her arms that in just a few months, a few years, she could be in the same position she's in now with her own daughter. Beth, she unconsciously thinks, one hand sliding away to trail down to the now noticeable bump in her stomach. She cringes at the thought of giving her own flesh and blood, _her_ daughter away, but knows that it has to be done. She's in high school, she thinks, she cannot raise a baby in high school. She's too busy trying to take care of herself and Rachel and now, apparently, Shelby too. She doesn't mind it though, oddly enough. This woman may not be _her_ mother, but she is _Rachel's_ and when Rachel hurts Shelby hurts, and vice versa. Therefore, she cannot see that happen, she refuses too, so she shushes the brunette softly and mutters into her ear that it's fine, that she herself has been in this position with Rachel many times before and that Shelby is not alone in any of this.

When Shelby finally pulls away, she wipes furiously at her eyes for a moment before Quinn takes her hands captive and pulls them away. Shelby adverts her gaze, suddenly too ashamed for having broken down like that to even face the blond anymore. "Don't." Quinn reassures her. "Don't put your walls back up Shelby, it's fine. I don't know who told you that you had to be so damn _strong_ all of the time, because you're allowed to hurt too. I don't expect you to be wonder woman through any of this and neither does anyone else. This is your daughter, your heart and your soul and her hurting kills you. It's understandable. It's love. You love her too much, _so_ much that you feel the need to put up this impenetrable force between you and the world around you. You're doing a great job Shelby, regardless of what you think. Rachel isn't asking for you to give her the world or to make everything better with the flick of your wrist. She's asking for you, she's asking for her mother."

And as Quinn finishes yet another long winded speech, it's all it takes for Shelby to break back down, nodding as she buries her head into her hands and Quinn returns to rubbing comforting circles on the woman's back-all the while having forgotten about the tea. But Quinn thinks that maybe, just maybe this is an improvement.


	13. Part XIII

**Author's Note: **Again, sorry for the delay. When I said updates would be quicker, I assumed it was because school was slowing down and I wouldn't be piled with an obnoxious amount of homework. That, and I also forgot it's not May yet. Or anything relatively close to that-damn you college. Anyway, thank you for all the reviews-glad to know people are still enjoying this.

* * *

"Shelby?" The word is a whisper on the blonde's lips as the older brunette woman looks up from behind long eyelashes. Shelby wipes at her eyes and glances around for a moment, trying to get her surroundings into check. They have spent the past ten minutes on the floor now, the tea resting in its place in the kettle on the stove, long forgotten. She sighs softly, berating herself for breaking down so easily. She cannot help but feel childish and slightly ashamed at herself as she pushes herself onto her feet.

Quinn swallows the snowball in her throat as she too, stands to her feet and glances at the woman-slightly apprehensive of what is to come after said woman, has just broken down. However her feelings are put on hold the moment the floor creaks and she adverts her eyes from Shelby to the doorway, finding Rachel standing there with a blanket wrapped around her small frame.

Shelby clears her throat and gives a small smile to her daughter before turning back towards the stove and mumbling something incoherent under her breath. Rachel is wringing her hands in a fit of nerves and confusion as she glances from the small, pregnant blond to the older, rigid woman. She takes a step forward and stops; unsure of whether she should go to the blond or to her mother-and lets out a small, helpless whimper.

At the sound, Shelby turns swiftly on her feet and rushes toward her daughter. She can practically see the gears turning in the younger brunette's head and it terrifies her beyond reason. Quinn stands back, suddenly unsure of what to do as she rubs her hand absentmindedly over her baby bump. It seems as if the days have all passed by in a blur and she can no longer keep up. Everything that had just happened between her and the older brunette now feels so surreal and she can't help but wonder if it is.

She sits back and watches the interaction between the two wearily, wondering if Shelby is going to break down again. She can't help but let a small smile graze onto her face as she thinks of how far the older woman has come. She's gone from being completely detached and cold to being open and vulnerable, at least a little bit. Rachel sighs in content as she feels her mother's arms wrap around her small frame and rests her head against her shoulder-the sleep from earlier creeping back up.

"Why don't you go lay down baby? I'll bring you out the tea in a moment, alright?" The words are small and Rachel pretends not to notice when her mother's voice cracks ever so slightly as she nods her head and turns around. Within seconds she's gone, leaving Quinn and Shelby alone once again.

"Shelby?" Quinn repeats her voice soft and concerned. She watches as the woman turns in her direction, nods and retreats back to the stove. Quinn chews nervously on her lip and takes a tentative step forward, reaching out to rest a small hand on the woman's shoulder. She feels her tense immediately and withdrawals.

"Are you okay?" She whispers, slightly unsure of whether she wants to hear the response that falls from the woman's lips.

"Fine." It's short, and Quinn knows for a fact that she's lying because her voice has cracked again and a lone tear makes its way down her cheek.

"No you're not." Quinn retorts knowingly. "I thought I told you before-you don't have to be so strong all of the time."

Shelby nods shortly and sighs before slumping forward, her body holding a defeated stance. She waits a moment and then turns to face the blond once more.

"I don't know Quinn." She murmurs, voice full of confusion and slight anxiety. "I don't know how I feel or what to feel, but I can't help but think that this is just…" She pauses, and shakes her head.

"That this is what?" Quinn continues, pushing her ever so slightly to continue.

"That all of this is some warped and fucked up nightmare. I should be able to help her, you know? She's my daughter and I can't make things better for her." The tears are falling faster now, like faucets from her eyes as Quinn nods in understanding.

"I feel the same way. I want to help her so much, but I feel like everything I do is just pushing her further and further away. But that doesn't mean I can just stop trying. She's my friend, Shelby. My _best_ friend, and I hate seeing her like this."

Quinn's crying too, well sobbing actually, if she were to be more accurate and this time it's Shelby's turn to comfort the blond, even if she can't comfort herself.

"I know," She squeaks out.

"I just keep thinking of my baby, of my daughter and what would happen if this was her-if-if…" She stops, unable to continue as sobs racket through her body. Apologies fall from her lips as she holds tightly onto the woman.

It takes her a moment, and Shelby's soft whispers to calm her down, but when she does, Quinn wipes hastily at her eyes and clears her throat. "We should bring the tea out to Rachel." She murmurs, before turning on her heel with a mug and the kettle and exiting the kitchen.

Shelby nods her head absentmindedly as she grabs the remaining mugs on the counter and follows the blond into the living room. She smiles slightly at the sight of her daughter curled up in a ball on the couch, sleeping peacefully. Setting the kettle and mugs onto the coffee table, the women take a seat across from her, an awkward silence falling over them.

Neither are sure of what to say now, their minds still too wrapped up in the exchange in the kitchen. Quinn tucks her legs under her and rests her hand back onto her stomach, watching as Shelby's gaze falls to the protruding area.

"You're going to make a great mom," She whispers softly, a small smile set upon her face. Quinn winces lightly and shakes her head.

"I'm not keeping it." She croaks, burying herself further into the couch. Shelby raises an eyebrow in question and Quinn continues. "I'm in high school, I can't be a mom. I don't know the first thing about a baby. My parents kicked me out, so it's not like I could go to them for support-not that I'd _want_ too anyway, but it's all the same. I can't keep this baby."

"Quinn." Shelby murmurs, reaching out to rest her hand atop the blonde's free one, which is resting lazily on the couch. "I can't tell you what to do-"Quinn automatically cuts her off.

"No, please do."

"I think that you should reconsider. Sure, raising a baby in high school will be hard, but with a heart like yours, I don't think you're in any trouble."

Nodding her head, Quinn glances down.

"I don't know," She whispers. "A baby takes a lot of time and care and money, which Puck nor I have and I can't exactly stay at his parents' house for the rest of my life. I want to know that I'll be able to finish high school and go to college and get a good job. I don't want to be like every other statistic and have to drop out and struggle to make ends meet. I want to know that my baby is taken good care of and that she has the best of everything. I can't give that to her. I just can't."

"Quinn," Shelby repeats, edging herself close to the blond teen before her. "I understand all of that, believe me I do-but there's daycare facilities in Lima that she can go to and you can still get your education."

"I know," Quinn mutters. "But like I've said, I want this baby to have the best of everything, and be happy and healthy. Being raised by two teenagers isn't going to cut it. I don't want her to be royally fucked up in the long run because of my stupidity with Puck."

"Well, it sounds to me like you know what you're doing." Shelby adds, smiling. "You do realize that giving up your baby isn't going to be easy right? In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do-and I should know, I mean-I was a surrogate to two gay men. I didn't meet my daughter until just recently, but looking back on it I know it was the right thing."

"Rachel's happy with you." Quinn sighs, glancing towards the sleeping brunette. "I can see why. You're a good mom."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me; I'm just speaking the truth. When she's with you, I can see parts of the old Rachel peeking out."

"I see it in the same way when she's with you."

Quinn automatically glances back down at her stomach. The guilt of what she used to do and say to Rachel creeping back upon her. "You shouldn't." She mumbles, voice cracking.

"Why's that?"

The intrigue in Shelby's voice doesn't go unnoticed and Quinn can't help but stiffen at what she's about to tell the older woman. Shelby will surely hate her after Quinn informs the woman of what she used to do to the young brunette.

"I wasn't always nice to Rachel."

"What do you mean?" There's no trace of anger or resentment in Shelby's voice, only wonder.

"Rachel isn't exactly…liked by the student body of McKinley. When I was on the cheerio's, I treated your daughter horribly. I called her vicious names and ordered copious amounts of slushy attacks on her. I…I was so _horrible_ to her and I fucking _hate_ myself for it. She says it's okay, that she's moved past it-but it's not okay because I know that if I wasn't pregnant right now and that I was still on the cheerio's, nothing would've changed. I'd still be treating her with the same viciousness as I did before."

Shelby nods, slightly surprised at the blonde's outburst. "Quinn."

"No," The blond chokes out. "I was _horrible_ to her, completely and utterly _horrible_. I'm so terrified of what will happen when this baby of mine is gone and everything has gone somewhat back to normal. I don't want to hurt her, but I can't say that it won't happen. I _hate_ not knowing what I'm capable of. It terrifies me."

"Quinn, let me inform you of something." She pauses and watches as the blond winces slightly. Quinn is silently bracing herself for what's to come from Shelby's mouth.

"Rachel is an easily forgiving person; she gets that from her father, Leroy. She can't hold a grudge and she's a little head strong, but I know she wouldn't want you to feel like this. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, although I'm not entirely thrilled at the revelation, I appreciate you telling me. But you've got to try and get past the guilt you're feeling, or it's going to eat you alive."

"I know." She whispers, "But I can't. Because every time I see Rachel, I see what I did and said to her and I fucking hate myself for it."

Shelby sighs in a defeated manor, and pulls the blond girl into her arms again. A fresh set of tears are cascading down Quinn's face and her body is shaking and she feels as if an invisible band has just wrapped itself around her rib cage because suddenly it's getting harder to breath and the world is moving much too fast.

"Take deep breaths Quinn. In through your nose and out through your mouth, it's alright. It's okay."

"It's not." Quinn chokes out. "It's not okay because Rachel is broken and I was a part of that, and now I can't fix her."

"Listen to me," Shelby says suddenly, her voice firm as she removes herself from the embrace to stare the girl down. "You were not a part of what happened to Rachel when she was attacked, she's not broken from what you've done-she's broken from what that _bastard_ has done. I get that you want to fix her and believe me, I want that too, but the only thing either of us can do right now is be there for her. I don't ever want to hear you say that you were a part of why she is the way she is right now, ever again. Got it?"

Sniffling Quinn nods her head and lets her body drop back forward into the brunette. There's something oddly comforting about Shelby's presence and she can't help but wish that for just one moment, her mother could've been like this with the blond. But she doesn't dwell on that matter long because her eyes have suddenly grown heavy and she's weaving in and out of consciousness.

"Get some rest Quinn, you need it."

Nodding, Quinn lets one last shuddered breath fall from her lips as her eyes droop shut and she's pulled into a world of blackness. She just hopes that when she wakes back up, that things will start to go back to normal, or whatever normal had started to become around here.


	14. Part XIV

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, I had a small surge of writer's block, no fun. If you haven't checked it out already, I have another Glee story up called; "Love is the most dangerous word in the book," I'd love for your input. No, this is not the last chapter-believe me, I still have a long way to go-this is just the beginning of Rachel's healing process, and the beginning of a solid friendship between Shelby and Quinn.

* * *

Quinn wakes up the next morning in a foggy haze, confusion engulfing her like an incoming tide as she slowly sits up, arms stretched high above her head. It takes her a moment to place her surroundings and when she does, she swallows thickly and scoots back to the other end of the couch, fear and shock erupting through her like a wild fire.

Shelby is seated at the other end of the couch, sleeping peacefully and from Quinn's previous position, she could tell that the two had fallen asleep sometime between their lengthy conversation the night before. Quinn had her head rested on Shelby's chest, and Shelby's arm had been previously wrapped protectively around her waist. It took the blond a moment to put it together, but when she did she felt a red tint creep to her cheeks. She must've though that Quinn was Rachel, it would make sense after all.

Glancing across the couch across from the one Quinn and Shelby (who thankfully, was still asleep) were seated upon, the blond smiled lightly, heart fluttering when she found the brunette still sleeping peacefully. If Quinn was correct, it meant that Rachel had actually managed to sleep through the night fully, without any nightmares and for that, Quinn was extremely grateful. Running a hand through her tousled hair, she turned her attention back to the older brunette, recalling their conversation last night with a sad smile upon her face. She cannot honestly believe she had revealed everything to the woman, but at this moment in time, she was glad she did. She wanted, _needed_ Shelby to know the truth, even if it meant the brunette no longer wanted anything to do with her. But she had a feeling that wasn't the case, seeing as she never said anything of the sort last night and hadn't proceeded to kick her out like Quinn had expected.

Maybe it was the mere fact that she thought if Shelby knew the truth, Quinn would just end up the next day's trash, like she had with her parents. She cursed inwardly as a small sigh escaped her lips, wondering what would've happened had this whole situation been different. If Rachel hadn't been attacked and Quinn wasn't carrying the child, would things be different? Yes, Quinn thought to herself, fighting back tears. It would. She'd probably still be head of the Cheerio's and she'd also probably still be treating Rachel like crap. But things _weren't_ like that anymore and Quinn couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth flow through her at the fact.

Things were different, better now in a way, of course, and she intended to keep it this way. She enjoyed Rachel's company, as well as Shelby's and she often found herself looking up to Shelby in admiration and for advice. She liked this, liked the peacefulness Rachel brought to her, but that didn't mean she liked that Rachel had been attacked. That, she thought, was the worst of it all.

* * *

Quinn jumps back almost instantly after she manages to pull herself out of her head when she sees Shelby has been watching her silently for the past few minutes and Quinn slowly puts a hand to her chest to still her rapidly beating heart. "Jesus," She croaks, chuckling lightly. A smirk falls upon Shelby's face as she wipes the sleep from her eyes and tucks her legs underneath her before peering across to her daughter who still had yet, to wake up.

"Sorry," She murmurs, once she's returned her gaze to the pregnant teen. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," Quinn whispers cautiously, wanting to keep Rachel asleep for as long as she could. Lord knows, Rachel needed it.

"It looks like she'll be out for a little while longer, would you like something to eat or drink?"

Quinn shifts her body, hand resting on her stomach as she absentmindedly nods her head. She kicks her legs over the edge of the couch and fails miserably at an attempt to pull her body up. Shelby smiles lightly and leans down, offering the blond a hand as she pulls her to her feet, nodding as the small girl mumbles a tired, 'thanks.'

Quinn trails behind the older brunette into the kitchen where she sits wordlessly in a chair at the table, watching as Shelby flutters around in the fridge. When she finds what she wants, orange juice and fruit, because it's 'healthier' for both the young girl and the growing baby, she joins Quinn at the table, sitting across from her as she watches the blond toy nervously with her hair and pick at the fruit on her plate.

Shelby can practically see the gears turning in the young blonde's head and licks her lips slowly, the offer falling from her lips before she can stop it and surprising not only Quinn, but herself as well. "Stay here." She murmurs. "Move out of Puck's and you can stay here, with me and Rachel, well when Rachel's here I mean. But trust me, I'd feel much better knowing your being looked after properly and that the baby is in the best possible care, besides-I'm sure knowing that you're close by would make Rachel happy."

Quinn's mouth drops open as she finds herself nodding her head, shock evident on her face. She swallows a large gulp of her orange juice as she plays with the hem of her dress. Neither she, nor Shelby, or Rachel had managed to change out of their clothes from the night before, all too exhausted to bother with it.

"I…" She pauses, clearing her throat. "Are you sure?" Quinn asks cautiously, scratching nervously at the back of her neck.

"Absolutely. It's fairly obvious to anyone, Puck included, that you're miserable over there. Why stay any longer then you have too? Besides, like I had said, I'd feel much comfortable knowing that you're in the hands of an adult who _actually_ knows and cares about your wellbeing, as well as that of the small child growing inside of you."

"I…" The tears are pooling in her eyes, faster than she can stop them and Quinn clenches her fists underneath the table as she nods her head. "Thank you," She chokes out. "I appreciate it, but I mean, are you sure? I don't want to put you out."

"I'm sure, and I'm not saying that Puck's mother doesn't care about your wellbeing or that of the baby, because I'm sure she does, but I can't help but think that it has to be incredibly awkward, the position you're in I mean." A small chuckle falls from Quinn's lips as she nods her head knowingly. It's the truth, Puck's mother is a nice woman, but she's very cautious and refuses to let Quinn act on some of her pregnancy cravings, for example, Bacon.

Granted, Quinn had never really been a fan of Bacon before, but then again, she's pregnant now-she's also never been a fan of pickles and ice cream before either. Licking her lips, she nods again firmly before speaking back up. "I guess, I mean-okay, yeah." A ghost of a smile falls on her lips as Shelby smiles widely at the blond, both instantly turning at the sound of shuffling feet.

Rachel steps into the kitchen wearily, still trying to wipe the sleep away as she clutches the blanket tightly around her and falls into a seat beside Quinn, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. Quinn smiles down at her and whispers gently, "Sleep well?" Rachel smiles weakly and nods, snuggling herself, if possible, further into the blond. She likes the warmth and comfort the small girl beside her radiates and she can't help but feel at peace when she's around her. She steals a glance at her mother who is watching happily from across the table and grins, sleepily at the woman before picking a piece of fruit off the blonde's plate and taking a bite.

"Here," Quinn ushers, sliding the plate gently towards the brunette. "Have the rest, I'm not all that hungry." Nodding, Rachel slowly continues to nibble until the fruit is gone, instantly regretting it when her stomach turns. A hand slides down as she shifts her head to bury her face in the crook of Quinn's neck, a small, pained groan falling from her lips. Quinn knows that groan, knows the noises and actions coming from the brunette. "Stomach again?" She questions softly, concern evident.

Rachel merely nods before groaning again and Quinn slowly pulls the brunette to her feet, barely making it to the sink before the brunette has emptied her stomach into it, clutching painfully at her shirt. Shelby frowns, rubbing comforting circles on Rachel's back as she holds back her daughter's hair. It takes close to ten minutes before Rachel is finally done, knees buckling and slowly, with the support of her mother and Quinn, sliding to the floor. She rests her head in her mother's lap, hot tears falling from her eyes as Quinn runs a hand delicately across her side, the lower half of her body resting in Quinn's lap.

Quinn can tell Shelby wants to tell Rachel to move so that she doesn't cause strain on the blond girl's child or the blond herself, but Quinn instantly shakes her head, putting up a hand to stop her before mouthing, "It's okay, she's light as a feather."

Nodding, Shelby sighs lightly and rests her head back against the cabinets, her eyes closing as she thinks back to the night all of this happens and how things had managed to escalate so quickly. She isn't even aware she's crying until she feels her daughter's body shift and she's now sitting entirely in the older brunette's lap. Rachel delicately wipes at her mother's pale cheeks, smiling gently at her as the woman's eyes flutter open. Shelby has a pained expression across her face, an expression Rachel knows all too well. Rachel places a delicate peck to her mother's forehead before resting her head on her mother's shoulder, repeating her earlier actions. She refuses to leave her mother's gaze, watching as the older woman's bottom lip trembles lightly before a small, choked sob escapes from her throat. Rachel and Quinn share a brief, knowing glance before Rachel turns her attention back to her mother. She's not sure when or how it happened, she wasn't even sure it was possible, but the words fall like a soft mantra from her lips, and a wide grin breaks onto Shelby's face. "It's okay mom, Quinn's right, you don't have to be so strong all of the time. I love you like this and every other way, it just proves your as much human as the rest of us."

Quinn's eyes widen in shock as she too, feels tears drip into her lap. The warmth has taken hold of her again and a proud grin has made its way onto her features as she stares at the brunette in awe.

"I'm tired of being silent," Rachel continues, voice timid. "I want to talk."

* * *

They're seated on the couch in the living room again, all having showered and changed, with Quinn pulling Rachel's hair into a long, French braid down her back. "Is this okay?" She asks cautiously as she finishes it, handing the brunette a mirror. The girl smiles widely and nods, turning to look back at the blond. "I love it, thank you."

Nodding, Quinn wrings her hands nervously together, the two waiting for Shelby to return with a fresh pot of tea. Quinn can feel the guilt creeping its way back in, and as if Rachel knows what she's thinking, she reaches out a hand to place atop the blonde's. "Don't," She croaks her voice still hoarse from not speaking in so long. "Please Quinn, let go of the guilt. I'm not upset with you anymore, I never was, actually. Please stop torturing yourself."

Quinn can do nothing but smile weakly as she lets out a sigh of relief; she had longed to hear Rachel say those words ever since the pair had struck up their tentative but slightly awkward friendship. "I missed your voice," the blond spits out honestly, surprised at how much joy is beyond her words. Her heart is swelled with pride and her emotions are raging and she has an overwhelming urge to sob but she refrains from it, instead opting to give the brunette's hand a comforting squeeze.

Shelby returns within seconds, setting the coffee pot on the table as she too, takes a seat on the other side of her daughter and pulls the young girl into her arms so that she is resting against her chest. She lets her arms fall lazily around Rachel's waist as she places a small kiss to the tiny girl's temple before speaking up. "I've called your dad's," She whispered. Rachel nods, flashing a smile in her direction before thanking her. "They're on their way, they'd like to speak with you too, if that's alright?"

"Of course, I…" Rachel pauses, wiping at a lone tear that has fallen from her eye. "I missed them."

"I know sweetie, they missed you too-we all have."

* * *

It starts out with hesitance and a slight trembling of her voice before she slowly grows stronger. She decided to get it over with, not wanting to utter this a second time. She made her father's call the cops from the station that gladly came by to listen to her story. They'd much rather have her in the station, speaking with her there, but didn't press on the matter. Why bother? If Rachel was willing to tell them what happened, then it didn't matter where they were-as long as she was able to tell her story. She didn't honestly want to relay everything at once, but she knew if she didn't then she'd just end up taking one step forward and several steps back, like the first time she'd spoken after the incident. She described in great detail, or that of which she could remember due to the amount of alcohol in her system, what had happened and only had to stop twice due to an overwhelming deal of sobs and sorrow that had racketed her small frame. When she had finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the room, and that included the cops, which had honestly surprised her a great deal. They briefly thanked her for the information, watching as her father's led them out of Shelby's house, not wanting to move from her mother's embrace. Her mother was trembling, she could feel it as she leaned against the woman's chest and as she looked up, Rachel couldn't help but let a few fresh tears slip out.

Shelby had a hand across her mouth has she tried desperately to suppress her oncoming sobs but her eyes shone with pride for her daughter. Sniffling, Rachel snuggled further into the woman's embrace before chancing a look at the pregnant teen. She was sitting stiffly, fists clenched together, face reddened in anger at what that bastard had done to Rachel, but her eyes shone with the same pride that filled her mother's. The two women couldn't help but feel incredibly proud at how far Rachel had come in only a matter of hours.

This was the Rachel Berry they remembered, and they'll be damned if they let her slip away again.


End file.
